Boundaries Through a Trauma-Informed Lens
If boundaries feel scary, activating, or confusing — that is normal if you grew up in a household where you couldn't advocate for yourself or you felt your needs or voice wasn't important. For many of us, boundaries weren’t modeled and whenever we have tried to set one in the past it was trampled on. You may have learned to survive by :• staying agreeable • anticipating others’ needs • minimizing yourself • over-functioning • or disconnecting to stay safe These aren’t flaws.They are intelligent nervous system responses. Boundary struggles are not a lack of willpower.They’re often a regulation issue, not a communication issue. When your nervous system senses threat (conflict, disapproval, abandonment), it will default to what once kept you safe — even if your adult self knows better. That’s why: • guilt can feel overwhelming • your voice can shake • you might over-explain or shut down • you set a boundary and then undo it Boundaries are not about forcing yourself to be brave.They’re about creating enough internal safety to choose differently. In this space, we work with boundaries gently and somatically :• slowly • in small, titrated steps • with awareness of your body cues • without pushing or bypassing fear A boundary might look like • pausing before responding • giving yourself time instead of an instant yes • noticing where your body tightens • choosing rest without justification • leaving before you’re depleted That counts. You don’t need to be firm all at once. Its ok to flex and adapt as you evolve, heal, shift and change, and you don’t need perfect words. You also don’t need to explain your healing to anyone. We focus on: • grounding and regulation before conversation • safety before strategy • self-trust before scripts 💭 Gentle reflection:Where might your nervous system be asking for more safety, not stronger boundaries? Let this be a space where you learn to protect yourself without abandoning yourself 🤍 I am going to be creating a space in the Classroom around boundaries and its important and helps us establish guardrails and safety in our life.