If you’ve spent years trying to be a good person—polite, helpful, easygoing, agreeable—and somehow ended up anxious, exhausted, lonely, resentful, and unsure who you actually are… this one’s for you. I’ve been coaching people pleasers and “nice guys” since 2013, and I can tell you this with full confidence: the Nice Guy strategy does not work. Not socially, not romantically, not professionally, and definitely not for your mental health. This week’s video kicks off a five-part deep-dive short course on Nice Guy Syndrome, focused on practical steps you can actually use to rebuild your confidence, repair your relationships, and reconnect with your real identity—not the mask you’ve been wearing. Here’s the core idea: Nice Guy Syndrome isn’t about being kind. It’s about performing niceness in order to get approval, affection, validation, safety, love, or some kind of emotional payoff. Over time, that performance becomes your personality. You stop being you, and you start being whatever keeps everyone else comfortable. And the cost is brutal. Most nice guys experience a lifetime of subtle (and not-so-subtle) anxiety. They’re constantly scanning the room for signs of rejection, discomfort, disappointment, conflict—basically anything that might reflect badly on them. You end up hyper aware of how everyone feels, yet completely disconnected from how you feel. There’s also that quiet resentment that builds over the years—this sinking belief that you’re doing “everything right,” while everyone else seems to get the success, respect, or affection you think you’ve earned. Meanwhile, you feel stuck on the sidelines, wondering what the hell you’re doing wrong. And because the whole system is based on keeping interactions smooth, pleasant, and non-threatening, nice guys never build the intimacy or emotional depth required for real connection. You can have a full social circle and still feel like an alien hiding among humans. You can be married and still feel utterly alone.

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