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🎥 Workshop Recording Now Available (How to Not Give a Fuck)
I’ve just uploaded the full recording of today's workshop on how to stop caring what other people think of you — without becoming an asshole, avoidant, or numb. If you’re a VIP member, you already have access. If you haven’t watched it yet, I strongly recommend you do. This wasn’t a motivational talk, it was a de-conditioning session. Here’s what we worked through 👇 Most people tell themselves that they care what others think because: - they’re “empathetic” - they’re “considerate” - or they don’t want to hurt people In reality, what’s usually running the show is imagined threat, not real consequences. Not real danger. Just old programming that treats disapproval as if it's something to defend against. In the workshop, I break down: - why most of the judgments you fear never actually materialises - how trying to manage people’s opinions makes you manipulative and more likely to be judged - the difference between causing harm and simply upsetting people - why being liked is often the opposite of being respected, trusted, or desired And then we move into the part most people avoid... Practical, uncomfortable, action-based work, including: - identifying the subtle ways you pre-emptively defend your image - learning to endure awkwardness, silence, and negative assumptions without fixing them - using non-defensiveness and humour in a way that actually increases respect - advanced techniques for handling real criticism (including when to lean into it) This is the kind of work that quietly changes how you: - make decisions - hold boundaries - handle conflict - show up socially and professionally Not by “not caring”… But by no longer treating other people’s reactions as a threat. Not a VIP Brotherhood member yet? You can watch the entire workshop by starting a free 7-day VIP trial. It will give you full access — including this recording AND previous calls and workshops — so you can decide for yourself.
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Why People Pleasing Doesn’t Work (Nice Guy Syndrome)
If you’ve spent years trying to be a good person—polite, helpful, easygoing, agreeable—and somehow ended up anxious, exhausted, lonely, resentful, and unsure who you actually are… this one’s for you. I’ve been coaching people pleasers and “nice guys” since 2013, and I can tell you this with full confidence: the Nice Guy strategy does not work. Not socially, not romantically, not professionally, and definitely not for your mental health. This week’s video kicks off a five-part deep-dive short course on Nice Guy Syndrome, focused on practical steps you can actually use to rebuild your confidence, repair your relationships, and reconnect with your real identity—not the mask you’ve been wearing. Here’s the core idea: Nice Guy Syndrome isn’t about being kind. It’s about performing niceness in order to get approval, affection, validation, safety, love, or some kind of emotional payoff. Over time, that performance becomes your personality. You stop being you, and you start being whatever keeps everyone else comfortable. And the cost is brutal. Most nice guys experience a lifetime of subtle (and not-so-subtle) anxiety. They’re constantly scanning the room for signs of rejection, discomfort, disappointment, conflict—basically anything that might reflect badly on them. You end up hyper aware of how everyone feels, yet completely disconnected from how you feel. There’s also that quiet resentment that builds over the years—this sinking belief that you’re doing “everything right,” while everyone else seems to get the success, respect, or affection you think you’ve earned. Meanwhile, you feel stuck on the sidelines, wondering what the hell you’re doing wrong. And because the whole system is based on keeping interactions smooth, pleasant, and non-threatening, nice guys never build the intimacy or emotional depth required for real connection. You can have a full social circle and still feel like an alien hiding among humans. You can be married and still feel utterly alone.
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Additional Resources and Support
If you're looking for more support from Brojo or Dan Munro, here's everything available: Free content - Blog - complete collection of all Dan's content in written, audio and video format - Substack newsletter - to stay updated on all new content - YouTube channel - all Dan's longer form videos Social media - short daily confidence boosting videos - Instagram - TikTok - LinkedIn Brojo Podcast - longer and deeper content - Soundcloud - Spotify - Apple Podcasts - Amazon Audible Paid content and support - Dan's books - Dan's longest and most in-depth content - Virtual coaching app - an AI chat machine designed to imitate how Dan responds and coaches (free trial for 7 days) Premium and VIP memberships for Brojo - get access to courses and personal support from Dan Coaching - Brotherhood group coaching - group coaching, access to all courses, and support from Dan - Information about coaching - find out if it's right for you - Apply for a free 1:1 trial coaching session with Dan - try it without risk And of course you can DM me here on Skool or email me dan@brojo.org with any questions.
2h •
25 years ago..
I wish I found this (and that it existed) 25 years ago when I was dating and I had no clue what I was doing. When I was actively looking for girls, I was terrible at it. Couldn't work up the courage to ask someone out, and couldn't follow through on opportunities as they came. Several girls came and went that I could have gotten somewhere with but blue it. Froze up. Mental ED before I could get myself somewhere physically. Its a wonder I ever made it to first base with my wife. Now after 25 years we are in a bad state. It probably is not salvagable. But I am not going into this thinking it can be saved, because regardless I have to fix these issues with myself. Pretty much everything she has complained about is succinctly covered in Nice Guy Syndrome. Other things that I do are described by autistic traits, that I never knew about until recently, like masking, and other things. And so we've been on this rollercoaster of, I can be "good" for a short time, weeks or months, but then I fall off. And shes understandably tired of that and can't do it. What I am finding though is that it seems like those up times are the times when I am trying so hard to be a good husband, good father, etc and be attentive to all their needs etc but it takes so much effort that I cannot maintain it. So, during those times, am I just being fake? covertly manipulative to keep everyone happy? Wearing a mask and hiding all my traits that I dont think anybody will like (the nerdy, autistic side of me)? Is it the case that maybe she actually only ever liked the fake me and not the real me? I know I have these nice guy bad habbits, thats not up for debate, and I need to fix that. But it seems like whenever I try to implement that, it just makes things worse. Also, in additon to the psychological issues that lead to ED I beleive I've had a physical ED issue probably all this time as well. I was recently tested for low T and I am borderline for clinical treatment (but just above what insurance would have covered). I think I have probably been low or up and down for my whole adult life, which has lead to situations where I can't perform. She thinks I was intentionally witholding sex but I dont think I have.
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