Hi all, I've been a member of this group for some time now and when I became a member, I had no idea about my autism. I've recently been diagnosed. Now, most of the things Dan posts here I find totally logical I can totally comprehend the concept, but something is holding me back to execute the behaviour properly. I mean, I've improved somewhat. I notice I can be in serious conversations with my girlfriend now, about stuff she isn't happy about in my behaviour, and I can last longer before I shut down or get angry and stop listening. What I have learned so far about autism is that most people have a totally over-reactive nervous system. People tend to feel overwhelmed and or anxious without interactions with others...As soon as a perceived criticism is felt, this may well lead a meltdown or shutdown. So... My question here is, perhaps more to those who identify as autistic or neurodivergent in a different way, do you think steering away from nice guy behaviour is genuinely more difficult, compared to neurotypical people?

I've been struggling to distinguish between typical complaining where you are just reliving a negative experience a million times and staying stuck in a particular identity, and a genuine problem that's bothering you that you are trying to find a solution to or soliciting someone's support for?

Hey guys Thanks for all your feedback on the previous post about how to improve the engagement in this group. I went live today to talk about these ideas and what changes will happen in this group. I'll wait for your responses before I make those changes happen, so please take a moment to watch the video below or read through the summary notes and let me know your thoughts. This is especially important for those of you wanting to access this group for free! Cheers Dan

I recently found myself out of work. The Agency I work for stopped contacting me, and even responding to my calls and messages. This has left me in some real financial stress at a time when I was just breaking free from debt. I started to think the universe was trying to break me. Daft, right? Like the whole fucking Universe gives a damn about me. But that was how I have been feeling. What I feel is worse is that I am procrastinating on finding a new job. I would be thinking about what to do, finding some pathways and saying " I'll do it later". Then I realised that I have spent my whole life ( I'm memory) doing this. I'll do it tomorrow, I'll do it when I get paid etc etc. Now, even though I have become aware of this, breaking free from this is stupidly hard. Even with advice and techniques to help, I find myself not doing anything and suddenly finding it's dark or past a deadline and I feel a sense of failure. It is INFURIATING!!

Since Dan wants more engagement, I will reluctantly post something.. I am currently going through the different contents, be it in podcasts, blog posts or courses. I made some progress since joining, as I worried a lot about my reputation, but I enjoyed the blog post about being non-defensive which cleared my beliefs concerning someone badmouthing me would propagate to everyone in the room. At the same time I still have some shame about my current situation: not having a job, living with my parents, that could be used against me, so being non-defensive would be difficult I guess in these cases. So I guess the first step would be for me to stop rejecting myself because of that.