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409 contributions to Brojo: Confidence & Integrity
Daily Dose of Integrity
Hey everyone, from now on I will post all Daily Dose of Integrity newsletters into this one thread, to avoid clogging up the newsfeed every day. See the latest comments for the most recent Daily Doses. Enjoy!
1 like • 6d
@Tyler Scott I spent a little time in Japan. I fitted in, apologizing to an automatic door for expecting it to open before it opens. Having been born, and living most of my life in New Zealand, I was an extreme nice guy, but our culture definitely rewards not standing out, not taking up space, unless one happens to be a sports star.
1 like • 2d
@Daniel Munro Clasic nice guy mistake I have made and made .....
Quotes / Lessons from Kids' Books
Something I noticed by chance last Monday... I was at my part-time job, helping a kid make a craft while reflecting on how tired I am of teaching English here (another one of those evenings, haha), when, by chance, I read a wise quote from Dr. Seuss' "The Lorax" (a story from my own childhood) on a worksheet: "UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." It's not exactly an epiphany, as I already knew that, at least to some extent, but seeing it right there in front of me, on an elementary school level English language worksheet, was sort of enlightening in a sense. I suppose little quotes like these, often stumbled upon by chance, help motivate me to keep working hard and going forward. Any quotes and/or lessons from kids' books that you like? 😁
Quotes / Lessons from Kids' Books
1 like • 2d
[attachment]
1 like • 2d
Such a good book!
The Sunk-Cost Fallacy
This is an interesting psychological phenomenon I stumbled upon years ago, when studying psychology for the first time. It is essentially the idea that, because we’ve already invested in something, we have to keep investing in it / go through with it. My psychology prof used the example of a bad movie at a movie theatre. It might be terrible, and obviously terrible from the start, but most people tend to think along the lines of, “Well, I’ve paid twenty bux for this, so I gotta stick it out until the end.” Newsflash: YOU ACTUALLY DON’T HAVE TO!! Instead, think of it as money lost regardless of what you do next, and don’t lose time on it as well. It’s OKAY to walk out of the theater and put the remaining 90 minutes you would otherwise waste there into something more worthwhile! The sunk-cost fallacy can affect us in many areas of life, including relationships, careers, hobbies and more! That first date going terribly? Find a way to end it early. Hate working in the career your degree prepared you for? It’s likely not too late to switch career paths! Decided you don’t want to read all those mystery novels you bought? Sell ‘em! I mean, your time is finite, and arguably your most precious resource, so why waste it on unpleasant and/or useless tasks to justify some investment of time/money/effort you made in it prior? You gotta be objective and let it go! I know it’s hard, but it’s better than doing something that leads nowhere good… The investment is made. The time / money has been spent, and you cannot get it back. However, you can learn from it, pivot, and do something better going forward. Learn more about the sunk-cost fallacy here: The Sunk Cost Fallacy: How It Affects Your Decisions One interesting quote from the above article: “Studies have shown that the larger the loss, the higher the sunk-cost bias is. In other words, the more you have already ‘invested,’ the less likely you are to shift gears and walk away.”
1 like • 2d
Sounds like what my half brother calls "dumb tax". I've not come across this cognitive bias, I will read the article you reference. Thanks for the intellectual food! I love ideas and concepts!
Course Shameless & Unbreakable: My persona list of sexual shame
Hey guys. I figured I'd share my personal list of sexual shame I created as part of the shameless course. 1. I feel embarrassed due to my lack of experience romantically and platonically with females. 2. I feel like I can’t connect with them without worrying about doing something stupid. I was called creepy and awkward by a crush in eighth grade indirectly by another girl who was her friend. That girl I had a crush on never had the guts to tell me the truth to my face. 3. I started masturbation when I was 14 to curvy women on Instagram, same time I was in eighth grade. But I am doing well so far quitting this habit. 4. I am envious of people who are in relationships, especially guys that were / are dating women I was attracted to. 5. I was being compared to other guys by group of girls in my grade. One especially said to me that every woman can do better than you. That stung and made me feel like I am not good enough. 6. I fantasize about women that I am not connected with, especially those at work. There was this one woman who is gorgeous and she is in a different department. I learned last year she has a boyfriend, and I had a crush on her before. I felt silly because I can’t be able to connect with her, even on a platonic level where other men can connect with her. 7. In eighth grade, my friend and I were told by our moms that they are disappointed in us for being interested in girls. So, I never learned how to talk to women or learn how to take healthy risks with one such as PDA in public and flirting. I was afraid of getting in trouble. 8. In high school. I didn’t know how to lead a relationship, especially with a high school girlfriend. She said she always wanted me to decide, and I was too easy going about making decisions. I was afraid of messing things up or doing the wrong thing.
1 like • 9d
@Travis Whitney Me too. I relate to love and sex anorexia , as SLAA puts it... avoiding intimacy, while craving it.
1 like • 2d
@Travis Whitney Ageed. I was an only child, a fat kid, timid, fearful, undiagnosed adhd, ...all the things that keeps me bottom of the desirable list. My mum couldn't drive when I was a kid, so I never got to vist my friends after school, etc, etc, ...a litany of why I ended up terrified of girls as a teen, and terrified of women as an adult ....still working on treating them like human women ..
Weekend fun: two truths one lie
A game I often play with my students: post three facts about yourself. Two are true, one is false. Then, try to guess everyone's false answers! 😁 I'll go first.... 1) I never got in a fight in high school, despite occasional scraps in my junior high and elementary years. 2) my friends and I got put in detention in junior high school for making a giant male body part out of snow. 3) I once went on a "lunch date" with a gay guy, while living in Brazil, thinking that he was straight and just wanted to be friends. I had to politely tell him later that we weren't oriented the same way. 🤣 Your turn! 😜
1 like • 2d
@Daniel Munro I guess 2.
1 like • 2d
@Tyler Scott I guess 1.
1-10 of 409
Aaron Frater
6
702points to level up
@aaron-frater-8141
I am nearly 60. I am an artists, and was an art teacher. I have been in recovery a long time. I have struggled with CPTSD, ADHD for ever.

Active 20h ago
Joined Aug 1, 2024
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