Dealing with Difficult People: a Quote from Marcus Aurelius
I've studied Stoicism on and off over the last few years, and have found it helpful in many ways. One way is in my approach to dealing with difficult people, largely influenced by the following quote from Marcus Aurelius: "When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own—not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands, and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are obstructions." It's kind of deep, but I think one thing that we can take away from it is that people are people, imperfect in nature, and expecting the worst from them helps us brace ourselves for our interactions with them. Furthermore, we can even GROW from our intereactions with them. I try to tell myself, when dealing with difficult colleagues and students, to be 'grateful' for them, and to see my interactions with them as 'training in patience and tolerance'. I think Ryan Holiday has discussed this in some of his YT videos before as well... Maybe that's where I got it from. So, welcome the difficult people in your lives! Thank them! LOVE THEM! They were placed there to challenge you, to make you grow, to make you improve, and by approaching them with the right mindset, you will! Furthermore, it is their nature to be that way, so don't become angry with them! As a Stoic (I forget which one) once said, "are you going to hate a fox for going into your chicken coop?" and "If a dog bites you, are you going to bite it back?!?" 🤣