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Brotherhood Group Meeting is happening in 7 days
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Next podcast - your questions?
Thanks for voting in the poll guys. The next podcast I'll create will be about the narcissism in Nice Guy Syndrome, and the weird inept god complex we suffer from. What questions would you like to see answered in this episode?
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Proposed changes to Brojo (important notice)
Hey guys Thanks for all your feedback on the previous post about how to improve the engagement in this group. I went live today to talk about these ideas and what changes will happen in this group. I'll wait for your responses before I make those changes happen, so please take a moment to watch the video below or read through the summary notes and let me know your thoughts. This is especially important for those of you wanting to access this group for free! Cheers Dan
Proposed changes to Brojo (important notice)
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Why You Rely on Approval Instead of Trusting Yourself (Green Light Syndrome)
Wassup, If you find yourself often hesitating before you make a decision or take an action, not because you don’t know what to do exactly, but you’re worried about how other people might react, or you feel like you need some sort of signal from the outside world before you can move forward, then you don’t want to miss today’s episode. Today, we’re going to explore why Nice Guys and People Pleasers often freeze and end up following the lead of others instead of making decisions for themselves. If you find yourself having to check with others before you move forward on a decision, or you procrastinate on something simple because you just weren’t sure how it was going to land with other people, this is for you. Do you often ask for advice rather than feedback? Like you ask for people’s advice on the idea you haven’t acted on, rather than feedback on the idea you have already started. Basically, you’re afraid of going first. You’re afraid of initiating, taking an action that doesn’t come with some sort of signal of approval and validation before you do it. This is something that I’ve called Green Light Syndrome. Maybe you’re hesitant to initiate sex, not because you don’t want to, but you’re scared that she might reject you. Maybe you’re hesitant to go for the promotion, not because you don’t want the job, but because nobody said that you were right for the role, and nobody said you should apply for it. When it comes to dinner, you might know what you want to eat, but you frame it as a question, like, what do you guys want to eat? You can’t just put the idea out there and take the risk that other people would disagree. Confident men don’t do this. They make the decision and THEN they deal with the consequences. You’re trying to deal with the consequences before making the decision. By the end of this episode, hopefully you’ll understand why it is you’ve got that vague sense of waiting for approval before you can take action and make a decision, and how to transition into someone who can go forward and take that risk and lead with initiative and know what they really want.
Social Confidence FREE Guide
Hey everyone Based on the 30 day social confidence challenge, I've put together a comprehensive guide on how to create a thriving social life. This guide includes - how to build a social circle from zero - the key social skills to develop - the main fears you'll need to overcome (and how) Comment "SOCIAL" below if you want a copy Cheers
Social Confidence FREE Guide
thoughts on being non-defensive
Since Dan wants more engagement, I will reluctantly post something.. I am currently going through the different contents, be it in podcasts, blog posts or courses. I made some progress since joining, as I worried a lot about my reputation, but I enjoyed the blog post about being non-defensive which cleared my beliefs concerning someone badmouthing me would propagate to everyone in the room. At the same time I still have some shame about my current situation: not having a job, living with my parents, that could be used against me, so being non-defensive would be difficult I guess in these cases. So I guess the first step would be for me to stop rejecting myself because of that.
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Brojo: Confidence & Integrity
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A brotherhood for Nice Guys ready to become respected men. Build confidence and boundaries, and create deeper, more meaningful relationships.
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