I naively assumed at times that doing actions/ things that align with my values should seem easy. I was so wrong, a mate introduced me the the concept of a choice point.. Is what Im about to do with my values or moving away from them. Standing back and taking time to observe has helped me keep moving in the right direction, even when the old me tries to intervene and take me back to my familiar zone.

Hey guys Tomorrow I'll record a podcast about how to stop being hypervigilant during social situations so you can actually enjoy yourself and be at ease around other people. It will focus largely on managing your defensiveness (reduce this and the vigilance is no longer needed). Comment "PREVIEW" below and I'll send you my notes for the podcast, and you can give your feedback and ask questions to be answered in the episode.

Let' do it again, it's time to hold ourselves to account! Comment below by calling your shot for this week: What healthy, value-based action do you commit to doing this week to improve your life? And how did you get on with last week's commitment?

Brojo has brought me a lot of understanding.Thank you dan for all the understanding and experiences you have shared

I joined this group as someone who was sick and tired of being walked over and bullied. I thought it was meant to stop once I left high school but unfortunately that’s not the case. I have two examples: 1). I was promoted to Supervisor in one of my previous jobs. I had to work alongside someone who was very standoffish and very close with the manager and members of the team so he had the green light to make my work life hell. I never spoke up because his bullying looked like “negative feedback” and I was worried he would fight back and use his connections against me. I ended up going to another department. 2). I was on a Contiki tour and there was a girl who was in the same friendship group as me and we got along, from the second half of the tour onwards, she began acting aggressive towards me verbally and even physically. It was like she no longer wanted me anywhere near her. In both scenarios I wonder “What if?” What if I spoke up, quit my job, told the tour manager and hung out with a different group? What I found empowering (and to be honest, triggering) about Dan’s previous video on Assertiveness is when he bought up a line from a movie: “Why are you doing this?” “Because you let me”. I can do something about it, and we can all do something about people trying to unjustifiably dominate us.