The "Good Enough" Protocol
I had Sage help me create this to deal with anxiety I get around my perfectionism, overachieving and people-pleasing masks so I can learn to mask less and live more authentically when preparing for an event or an activity that I know is going to trigger those tendencies. I thought I would share it here in case it's helpful for anyone else. The Good Enough Protocol For any situation where perfectionism, people-pleasing, or overachieving show up. The underlying fear these masks protect against: that being visibly imperfect in front of others will cost you something (love, belonging, respect, reputation as the reliable one). Phase 1: Pre-Load (2 to 3 hours before) 1a. Define "good enough" in writing. Before your in-the-moment brain can move the goalposts, write: "This is a success if ____." Keep the bar stupidly low. Think minimum viable, not maximum impressive. The perfectionist brain will try to raise it on arrival. Your pre-written version overrides the in-the-moment negotiation. 1b. Write three permission slips. Out loud or on paper. Tailor to the situation, but some evergreen ones: - I have permission to reference notes, pause, or say "let me check" - I have permission to let others do their part without my control or rescue - I have permission to be visibly uncertain without apologizing for it 1c. Nervous system prep (10 minutes). Short version of the reset: 20 jumping jacks, 2 minutes shaking, 10 physiological sighs. You're getting ahead of the cortisol, not chasing it after it spikes. Phase 2: The Threshold (on arrival, before it starts) 2a. Brief the other humans, don't download to them. If other people are involved, give them one clear job, not a full summary of your plan. This solves the "they don't know what I'm doing" anxiety by redirecting you from managing their experience to defining their contribution. 2b. Handle the uncertain logistics first. Whatever physical or practical piece you're unsure about, do that first. If it doesn't fit or work, you have time to adapt. If it does, one anxiety loop closes before you even begin.