In the morning, before breakfast time, I went outside in the garden and looked at the sky and tried to wake up my system deeply and it felt so good!!! It might not sound like a major step, but for me it feels like the built up for a series of domino blocks!

Daily Check-in - 2026-09-12 Activities ☀️ Morning Sunlight, 💪 Workout, 🥗 Healthy Eating, 📵 No Social Media, 📋 Planned Day, 👥 Quality Time, 👂 Active Listening Scores 😊 Happiness: 5/10 ⚡ Energy: 5/10 🎯 Focus: 5/10 😌 Calmness: 4/10 🌙 Sleep Quality: 4/10 🔥 Motivation: 5/10 Reflection Today was a sobering day, my youngest brother's birthday without Dad. So we decided that we'd take him to the hot bread shop and then go on out to the dam - something that Dad was really looking forward to but never made it. The weather meant that we had to stay in the car. It was just a chance to talk and keep the communication channels open. We didn't get him much - cash and Dad's pocket knife. The pocket knife would have more significance as Dad never went anywhere without it. Even in his final chapter, he'd be off with his walker and the knife tucked inside it. It seemed appropriate that he should have it. We're still trying to get used to the unusually quiet house and still trying to re-establish our routines. It'll come. I took Mum out shopping after being with my youngest brother. She enjoyed the session as we used to do it a lot before Dad got ill. The dogs got to have some fun outside chasing sticks I'd thrown for them (individually of course - it would be too chaotic to have two large dogs playing as they tend to switch their ears off!).

Okay, vulnerability hour. I've been quiet on my North Star, and I want to be honest about why. I did the first 6-week cohort and part of me felt like I failed it. But sitting with it, I don't think my North Star was ever the problem. The problem was my Rocks. They were more like a " bloody Mount Everest" . Every single one. Huge, ambitious, "transform everything" goals, and I'd planted my flag on the summit with no base camp, no scaffolding up the mountain, and no plan for the days I slipped back down. Add a very new job and a work environment I was still finding my feet in, and it was never going to hold. You don't summit Everest by staring at the peak. You build base camp first. You acclimatise. You go up in stages, and when the weather turns you come back down and wait, you don't quit the mountain. 𝗦𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗜'𝗺 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁. 𝗜'𝗺 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻: - Rocks that are the right size, my base camp, not the peak - The scaffolding that gets me up the next stage - Consistency over intensity - A comeback protocol for the red days: come back down, regroup, climb again That last one is the piece I never had. Coming back, not starting over. If anyone else set themselves summit-sized Rocks first time round, I'd love to hear how you found your base camp. What made yours finally doable?

Daily Check-in - 2026-09-18 Activities ☀️ Morning Sunlight, 💧 Stayed Hydrated, 🥗 Healthy Eating, 🥩 Hit Protein Goal, 🥦 Ate Vegetables, 🍳 Home Cooked Meal, 📵 No Social Media, 📋 Planned Day, 👥 Quality Time, 🤝 Helped Someone, 👂 Active Listening Scores 😊 Happiness: 6/10 ⚡ Energy: 6/10 🎯 Focus: 6/10 😌 Calmness: 6/10 🌙 Sleep Quality: 5/10 🔥 Motivation: 6/10 Reflection Today was a mixed bag of things. My youngest didn't want to go to school so while I was taking my eldest to school, I called his teacher and asked for a phone conference. When I got back home to work on my youngest, we spoke to the teacher together. His mood picked up, he ate his food without throwing up, got dressed and headed out the door. I dropped Mum off at the optometrists then went onto drop my child off at school. Brilliant. I asked him to let his teacher know if he wanted to come home at lunchtime or not. That way she could contact me and I'll know whether to collect him or not. This is where I get derailed. I got the message to come and get him. My husband goes instead. While he's out, he goes over the top of my messages to the Football Club and turns up unannounced, demanding the training kit for my son. I wouldn't ordinarily mind except he went over the top of me - again. Then this evening, my eldest had training. I was out with Mum getting Dad's death certificate and then down cancelling his pension. I got home mid-afternoon to Lachlan and briefly chatted. I discover that my husband is taking my eldest to training - without consultation. I was absolutely fuming with him. Instead of yelling at him which I really, really wanted to do. I parked it and left it for a time when I'm not so stressed. Not now. I said to my eldest that I'm not going to training tonight and I could see his mood drop straight away. How can I tell my husband that the kids don't want to travel with him? He drives aggressively and he has a short fuse with the boys. So it looks like I'm staying home tomorrow - again - as I can't leave Mum home with the dogs. Our dogs are large and boisterous and will be too much for her to try to handle - if anything they will send her flying! So I've finished my day feeling extremely annoyed but proud that I haven't lashed out at my husband - it's not the time nor the place for that sort of argument. So for now, I'll leave it parked.

Daily Check-in - 2026-09-14 Activities 🥗 Healthy Eating, 📋 Planned Day, 👥 Quality Time, 👂 Active Listening Scores 😊 Happiness: 6/10 ⚡ Energy: 6/10 🎯 Focus: 6/10 😌 Calmness: 6/10 🌙 Sleep Quality: 5/10 🔥 Motivation: 6/10 Reflection "Today I was determined to get back to some sort of normality. Yes grief is there but it hasn't completely surfaced and it will - that I'm sure of. I negotiated with my youngest to go back to school courtesy of a conference call between my youngest, his teacher and myself. I also had lunch at home with my sister and Mum. I got through all my pre-admission forms for next week, read through the insurance policy that the Northland Football Club has which raised some questions about my son's cover or lack of it, I also sent through the surgery pre-approval letter for my eldest son, got my hair cut as well as my eldest, arranged for my youngest to have his hair cut on Wednesday. A full day but a productive day. I have so much to catch up on but also trying to remember time out for me."