I have developed some intense attachment or overindulgence in thinking… in narrated my observation. It is so fucking overwhelming. I am not sleeping well at all. I already know I have been through some hard shit in my life and I developed thinking patterns to protect myself and be vigilant of myself and others but I am SPENT! I want to be able to just choose to totally be like not in the cycle of view, notice, analyze, observe or whatever, over and over and over again constantly. I CANT SLEEP. It’s getting to the point where my head like is wanting to dead it entirely. I am trying to sort through, in those moments, maybe how to disengage, instead of observing the thoughts and engaging with the observation - rather to just see the them as perhaps not important or even just not necessary. I believe I have found comfort in thinking, I am obsessive as fuck. There’s got to be people out there who have thought and thought themself into oblivion and found peace after somehow!

Are you truly awake or just accepting that you are without knowing that you are, and if you are awake, how do you know you are awake and what have you woken up from?