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I applied for something a role I really wanted and I didn’t get it, and do you know what, when I got the feedback back, they were right, and that’s the bit that hit me the most because I couldn’t even argue it, I could see exactly what I’d done. So she said she loved my energy on a recent group call I joined, loved how I came across, felt really drawn to me… and then she read my responses and it just didn’t match that at all, she said it felt like AI, really formal and not aligned with how I showed up. And I was just sat there like… for fuck’s sake, because I knew, I knew exactly what had happened. I went straight back into what I can only describe as my Social Worker brain, like structured, professional, report-writing mode, and I didn’t even think about it, I just defaulted, questions… answers underneath… Google doc… the whole thing like I used to do for court reports. And this is where my brain does what it does… because I’m dyslexic, because of how I was trained, because of masking if I’m really honest… I have this “safe” way of communicating that sounds right, sounds professional, ticks the boxes…Plus with my Autism I mirror things that I see, things like dashes and dots. …but it’s not actually me. And I’ve done SO much work on using my voice, like really using it, showing up as me, saying things how I actually say them, not overthinking every word… and then on one thing, one simple task, I just slipped straight back into that version of me that knows how to be accepted… but doesn’t actually reflect who I am now. That’s the bit that peed me off. Not that I didn’t get it… but that I abandoned myself in that moment without even realising. And I think this is where neurodiversity comes into it in a way people don’t always talk about… that default settingthat maskingthat “this is how I SHOULD say it” voice it’s fast… it’s automatic… and it often kicks in when something matters. So I messaged her back and I just owned it, explained it properly, didn’t try and dress it up, just said yeah… that’s exactly what I did.