So a friend of mine has been having some major issues with himself mentally, like, brain fog and even having these extreme moments of anxiety and other things. So yesterday he told us that his doctor had done a genetic test on him and had identified that he had a variant of the COMT gene which causes his brain to metabolize dopamine at a faster rate than normal. I immediately looked on 23andme because I had done their testing years ago. Turns out I have it as well. The short of this is a two sided sword. On the one hand, this means we have a higher pain threshold and can do well under high pressure situations. On the other, this also means that at baseline we have more cognitive difficulties, like brain fog and such. Which for me rang so true it was like a WTF moment. I often do well when under pressure. I think thats why I still have a job. Because the rest of the time my brain kinda wanders through a fog but when the shit hits the fan I can jump into gear and fix something. I'm also the type that can be in a mental fog most of the time, but if its the middle of the night and shits going down I can jump right up and go handle things (kids getting sick, etc). But then I'm a wreck the rest of the day. Also its associated with anhedonia, which explains why it seems like I never really enjoy things. I'm really rarely ever happy. I come off as completely emotionless often. So, yeah. theres that.

Hey, everyone! I found that there is not a single statistic online about which actions are most effective in helping people pleasers/"nice guys" change their patterns. Not therapy or coaching itself, but the actual actions people take in real life. There are many separate articles, personal stories, and Reddit discussions, but I couldn’t find a single proper summary with aggregated results. So I went through 100+ different sources and aggregated the practices people pleasers most often reported as genuinely helpful. Which one (or which combination) do you personally find most effective? I'd appreciate it if you could share. It might not even be on the list - your own tools, that's fine. TOP 10, sorted from most mentioned to least mentioned: 1) Boundary setting & saying No Explicitly saying no, limiting favors, defining what they will and won’t do, and holding those limits even when others push back. 2) Prioritizing own needs & self-respect Consciously asking: “What do I want or need?” and choosing actions that protect energy, time, and self-respect instead of automatically prioritizing others. 3) Dropping toxic or one-sided relationships Reducing or cutting contact with manipulative, exploitative, or chronically one-sided people; keeping closer relationships with those who reciprocate. 4) Honest expression of opinions & preferences Voicing real likes, dislikes, and disagreements — even in small situations — instead of automatically agreeing to keep the peace. 5) Limiting availability & matching effort Not always being “on call,” replying less instantly, and matching other people’s level of investment instead of over-functioning. 6) Tolerating guilt, discomfort, and rejection Allowing guilty or anxious feelings after saying no or asserting needs without immediately trying to “fix” the discomfort by people pleasing again. 7) Self-awareness of patterns, triggers, and motives Recognizing when, with whom, and why the urge to please appears — fear, trauma, shame, approval-seeking, self-image, etc.