Today I want to tackle one of the messiest, most confusing relationship dilemmas people face — and honestly, one of the most common issues my clients bring to me: What does it really mean when you’re attracted to someone else… and does it mean you should leave your partner? Most people assume attraction to someone outside the relationship is a sign that they’re with the wrong person. But the truth is far more complicated. In fact, that assumption alone destroys more relationships than attraction itself ever does. In this week’s video, I dig into the psychology behind why so many people drift toward infidelity, often in tiny micro-steps they barely notice. It rarely starts with a big dramatic betrayal. It starts with little things — porn, daydreaming, seeking validation, flirting with a barista, getting just a bit too close to a coworker. Small “harmless” moments that feel innocent… but would make you blush red with shame if your partner saw them. And that’s the first big problem I tackle:Most people don’t fall into cheating — they slide into it one blurred boundary at a time. We talk about how the “grass is greener” fantasy manipulates your mind during stressful periods. Maybe your partner is tired, moody, overwhelmed, or distant — totally normal human phases — and suddenly someone else seems easier, lighter, more fun. But you’re comparing your partner’s full complexity to someone else’s highlight reel. And your brain loves to pretend that the other person won’t have flaws, moods, baggage, or annoying habits of their own. Another huge factor we dive into is avoidant attachment, and how people with deeper intimacy fears sabotage perfectly good relationships without knowing they’re doing it. When someone avoids closeness, attraction becomes a convenient escape route. It feels like a sign… but it’s often just fear in disguise. We also unpack a major trap:confusing a stale, familiar phase of your relationship with a “bad” relationship.There’s a massive difference between a relationship that’s flat for a moment and one that’s fundamentally unhealthy. Most people don’t know how to tell the difference — and that’s where they start making disastrous decisions.

Why Promises Aren’t Commitments (And Why That Matters for Your Relationship) Most people throw around words like commitment and loyalty without ever really understanding what they mean. And because of that, their relationships end up built on wobbly foundations—lots of nice-sounding promises, but not much real presence. In this week’s video, I break down one of the most misunderstood parts of relationship success: the difference between promising something and actually committing to it. A promise is future-focused. It’s “I will do this later.”A commitment is present-focused. It’s “I’m doing this right now.” That difference sounds small, but it’s everything. Promises make you feel good. Commitments make your relationship good. The Real Problem: Most Relationships Run on Promises You’ll see this everywhere: - “I’ll always love you.” - “We’ll go on that holiday someday.” - “I’ll change eventually.” People say these things with good intentions, but often they’re avoiding the uncomfortable, real-time work of actually showing up. And the truth is, promises don’t hold you together through the hard seasons. Commitment does. In the video, I share stories from long-term couples (and my own marriage) that illustrate something most people never discover until it’s too late: love naturally goes through peaks and valleys, and commitment is the bridge that gets you over the valleys without panicking and blowing everything up. The Other Big Mistake: Blind Loyalty A lot of people confuse loyalty with commitment, and some stay loyal to things that no longer resemble what they originally signed up for — jobs, marriages, even friendships. Loyalty shouldn’t mean “I’ll stay no matter how bad this gets.”It should mean “I’ll stay as long as the values we built this on still exist.” There’s a huge difference. The video shows you how to tell whether you’re in: - a temporary valley that requires patience and integrityor - a fundamentally unhealthy situation you should walk away from

Hey everyone, from now on I will post all Daily Dose of Integrity newsletters into this one thread, to avoid clogging up the newsfeed every day. See the latest comments for the most recent Daily Doses. Enjoy!

Why You’re Attracted to People Outside Your Relationship (And What That Really Means) Let’s talk about something most people won’t admit out loud:You will be attracted to other people, even if you’re in a great relationship. I know a lot of people cling to this fantasy that “once I meet my true love, I won’t even notice anyone else.” Maybe a handful of unicorns experience that. The rest of us? We’re primates with brains that fire off chemicals when the right person walks by at the right moment. And here’s the real kicker:That attraction has almost nothing to do with the quality of your relationship. In fact, treating attraction like some kind of divine sign is one of the fastest ways to sabotage a perfectly good relationship. In today’s video, I break down why attraction is a threat you have to manage — not a message from the universe telling you to betray your partner and flirt with the cute girl from your salsa class. Here’s what we get into: 1. Attraction is involuntary — what matters is what you do about it. Feeling a spark is normal. Acting on it isn’t necessary.And if a tiny bit of attraction is enough to pull you away, that says more about your commitment than your partner. 2. The workplace is one of the biggest relationship killers. You’re seeing people at their best: focused, energized, helpful, wearing nice clothes, celebrating wins.Meanwhile, at home, you’re negotiating chores, bills, and renovations.It’s not a fair comparison — but your brain doesn’t care. 3. Attraction does NOT equal compatibility. Physical chemistry is the quickest to fire off and yet the least accurate in predicting long-term relationship success.You can be wildly attracted to someone who would make you miserable if you actually lived with them. 4. Attachment styles matter more than you think. Most Nice Guys dealing with this dilemma don’t have a “relationship problem.”They have an avoidant attachment problem: - fear of intimacy - fear of being hurt - craving novelty and validation - sabotaging the good thing to avoid vulnerability

I just released a new video that digs into one of the most confusing dilemmas people face in relationships: How do you know whether to stay and fight for it… or admit it’s time to walk away? Most people think the answer lies in how they feel—which is exactly why so many people make terrible decisions. Feelings come and go. Attraction spikes and dips. Life circumstances punch you in the face. None of that actually tells you whether you’re in a good relationship or a doomed one. So in this video, I break it down properly. We start by untangling the mess around commitment vs. promises, and why people treat these two things like they’re the same. Spoiler: they’re not. Saying “I’ll do something” has nothing to do with actually doing it. Commitment is a behaviour, not a sentence. Then I dig into the concept of loyalty, and why most people completely misunderstand it. Blind loyalty—“I’ll stay no matter what”—keeps people stuck in misery for years. Healthy loyalty is conditional. It’s based on the version of the person you actually committed to… not the fantasy future version you hope they’ll become someday. One of the biggest issues I talk about is how people assume their partner won’t change. But humans always change. Every year. Every season. Sometimes dramatically. And if your relationship doesn’t take this into account, you end up signing a contract you can’t honour… or staying in one that isn’t even the same contract anymore. I share a story from my own life that really illustrates this—something a married friend told me years ago about how long-term love actually works. That conversation shattered all my romantic delusions. It turns out even great relationships have valleys where you might not even like each other for a while. But good commitment acts like a bridge—you keep showing up with respectful behaviour even during the low points, instead of reacting impulsively to temporary feelings. And this is where people get stuck:They can’t tell the difference between a normal valley and a genuine red flag.So they either leave too quickly… or stay way too long.