Just finished the first section of my ADHD Snapshot and realized I've known my brain was different since 1st grade. That's not a recent discovery, that's a lifetime. Also finally saw in writing why the same brain that can do amazing things can completely freeze on starting something simple. Wild to see it named, not really I've been fighting this my whole life. Adhd makes me excellent at some things and cripples me with little things, decisions, or starting almost anything. It has held me back my whole life and even gotten me in trouble.

Today I went to the Botannical Gardens, it's famous for its 18 unique enclosed conceptual gardens - in my wee corner of the world, - it gets aboput 600K visitors a year. It was a stunning morning, so thermos of tea, date and banana loaf, (a great date with my partner) in the back pack, and off we set. From the outside it looked like a lovely Sunday morning. But I was on a mission. I went there to scout where my legacy mosaic pieces are going to live one day. Not "imagining" in a wistful, maybe-someday way. Actually walking the paths, poking into the spaces between themed gardens, looking behind gates and doors (hahah see the Big Yellow Doorse)- is it behind here To see the empty zones.... for new themed garden space options - asking myself: where? what? how big? I even took photos to take home, with "is this the gate that leads to my Legacy Gardens, and "Maybe I can mock up the sign for my gardens"... Eight weeks ago, that version of me did not exist. Eight weeks ago, the dream was tucked away in a drawer labelled "yeah, but you're not a famous artist, Debz." The drawer was getting dusty. I'd half forgotten it was even mine. Then something happened that I can only describe as fate elbowing me in the ribs. I struck up a conversation with one of the gentlemen who runs the Service Desk. I asked who I'd need to talk to about exploring possibilities with the design team. And he looked at me and said: "Funny you say that. We've been talking about how we don't have any real representation on a garden theme with recycled materials, we don't have any mosaics in the gardens. Could that be our next one?" I nearly dropped my thermos. I showed him a couple of photos of my work. He said, "We need to organise a coffee." I am still a bit shaky writing this. Actually I am a bit teary - and scared Here's the bit I want to share with you all: The dream didn't change today. The gardens didn't change today. The only thing that changed is the limiting belief I've been hauling around like a heavy bag of mortar: