I did this reset only a couple of months ago and I discovered such great insights that allowed me to begin to love my partner more. The relationship imploded and he bullied me out of our home. I’m not feeling bitter and sad about this…angry yes! But it’s helped me notice a few things about myself that will stop me attracting a relationship like this ever again. I genuinely couldn’t remember what I’d written in round 1 of the reset even though it was only a couple of months ago. I’ve just looked back and it was a much weaker version of what I’ve just written now. I’ve had a lifetime of being put in a box, told my feelings aren’t important, play along or be punished. I’ve been petrified of the punishment - the fear of the physical, mental and abandonment punishments. My biggest breakthrough has been understanding that voice in my head that is constantly playing out real and imaginary scenarios, is trying to make myself heard, smoothing out the story, trying to make myself feel safe. This internal torment has been trying to keep me safe by not allowing me to feel the fear of the punishments and the abandonment and everything being taken away from me. Well no more…I’d already started pushing back this week against my ex. In fact I experimented just to see what he’d actually do and what I noticed is, he’s just a bully! I didn’t give in to his demands and turned round and said NO and who cares about the consequences, they are his to own! Stop paying the bills, do it! suffer the consequences. Try and become between me and my son! Do it! The fear around this is being transformed. This is such a breakthrough for me! I could kind of see it but all of a sudden it’s crystal clear! Stop managing my environment and protecting those around me who aren’t protecting me! Stop letting that voice in my head stop me from feeling. How others act and behave is their issue. I no longer need to fear punishment and abandonment, it is a childhood fear that my nervous system and subconscious have held onto to keep me safe.

A man once asked a wise old monk: “Everything feels heavy lately. Nothing is working the way I hoped. I feel lost, tired, and discouraged. What should I do when life feels like it’s falling apart?” The monk listened quietly and then asked him: “When a seed is planted in the ground… what does it look like first?” The man replied, “It disappears into darkness.” The monk smiled gently. “Yes. But that darkness is not the end of the seed. It is the beginning of its growth.” The man stayed silent. The monk continued: “Many people think their life is falling apart, when in reality… life is clearing space for them to grow differently.” The man whispered, “But the pain feels endless.” The monk nodded slowly. “Because you are measuring your life only by what is going wrong. But growth is often invisible while it is happening.” Then the monk pointed toward the sky after a storm. “Do you see how the trees become stronger after strong winds? The storm did not ask permission before arriving… but it still left the tree deeper rooted than before.” The man lowered his head and asked, “So what should I do during hard times?” The monk replied softly: “Do not abandon yourself. Rest when you are tired. Pray when your heart feels heavy. Take small steps when big ones feel impossible. Stop comparing your life to others. And remember that confusion is often part of transformation.” Then he added: “Some chapters of life are not meant to make you comfortable. They are meant to make you wiser, stronger, and more awake.” In Buddhism, difficult seasons are not seen as punishment… but as part of life’s impermanence. Pain changes. Circumstances change. You change too. So if nothing feels right right now… do not panic. Sometimes life breaks your old path because it is trying to lead you toward a better one.

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve. I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey ... I asked for health, that I might do great things. I was given infirmity, that I might do better things ... I asked for riches, that I might be happy. I was given poverty, that I might be wise ... I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men. I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God ... I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. I was given life, that I might enjoy all things ... I got nothing I asked for—but everything I had hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am, among men, most richly blessed” ―Confederate soldier