I did this reset only a couple of months ago and I discovered such great insights that allowed me to begin to love my partner more. The relationship imploded and he bullied me out of our home. I’m not feeling bitter and sad about this…angry yes! But it’s helped me notice a few things about myself that will stop me attracting a relationship like this ever again. I genuinely couldn’t remember what I’d written in round 1 of the reset even though it was only a couple of months ago. I’ve just looked back and it was a much weaker version of what I’ve just written now. I’ve had a lifetime of being put in a box, told my feelings aren’t important, play along or be punished. I’ve been petrified of the punishment - the fear of the physical, mental and abandonment punishments. My biggest breakthrough has been understanding that voice in my head that is constantly playing out real and imaginary scenarios, is trying to make myself heard, smoothing out the story, trying to make myself feel safe. This internal torment has been trying to keep me safe by not allowing me to feel the fear of the punishments and the abandonment and everything being taken away from me. Well no more…I’d already started pushing back this week against my ex. In fact I experimented just to see what he’d actually do and what I noticed is, he’s just a bully! I didn’t give in to his demands and turned round and said NO and who cares about the consequences, they are his to own! Stop paying the bills, do it! suffer the consequences. Try and become between me and my son! Do it! The fear around this is being transformed. This is such a breakthrough for me! I could kind of see it but all of a sudden it’s crystal clear! Stop managing my environment and protecting those around me who aren’t protecting me! Stop letting that voice in my head stop me from feeling. How others act and behave is their issue. I no longer need to fear punishment and abandonment, it is a childhood fear that my nervous system and subconscious have held onto to keep me safe.

I’ve been doing the 10 day love reset, and have had such big breakthroughs. I started to understand how I was showing up in my relationship and giving my power away, until I’m literally left with nothing. I’ve started to take my power back and had a really good chat with my partner, we’d literally broken up! I was really honest about my role in our dynamic and he was really open to listen and understand. The week has just blown up after this…had an appraisal with a company I work for, and they’re not renewing my contract. The feedback they gave me was quite harsh and not constructive. The conversation left me feeling really low and questioning my whole career! I’ll be honest I struggled yesterday and it was difficult to sleep. Today I woke up feeling angry and I’m now not prepared to see out my contract. This isn’t because I’m angry, this is because I’m looking at my value and the micro ways I’d given over my power. I’m not giving any more of my time or energy to something I wasn’t valued in. Then I had a guy wanting to work with me, but he started trying to change all of the conditions…how much time he’d pay for, what he’d pay, how he’d pay…he tried crossing so many boundaries, so I told him we weren’t a good fit and I charge by the hour not by the minute! Finally, today we called into a cafe, and of course after this week, a couple who had a disagreement with us last year, were sat there 🤦‍♀️ of course they were 😂 The wife was horrible to me last year after our sons (age 10) had a disagreement. This caused me anxiety for weeks. She didn’t acknowledge me so i didn’t acknowledge her. I went to the loo and my partner went to say hello and they kicked off on him 🤦‍♀️ however, this situation caused no triggering in me today. So after this week I’ve been like wow have I passed the test 😳😂

Aaron Doughty where have you been all my life! 😁 I’ve recently separated from my partner of 13 years, we have a 10 year old. Due to financial constraints at the moment, I’ve moved to the other side of the house. I knew we had a toxic dynamic going on, we always have and we’ve separated twice before because of this. What I didn’t see clearly was what I was doing! I’ve done inner child work before but this was like a laser beam! I’ve been scared to death of conflict so running back everytime to the person that hurts me. Managing his emotions to avoid mine. I’ve just done day 5 of the reset and I’ll be honest I’d been putting this off but I’m so glad I pushed through - my son was ill this morning and my ex was being unkind to him, telling him to man up etc. and just not having any empathy. I walked in to my son eating breakfast with tears in his eyes. I comforted him and gave him medicine and he went to school. I felt really off so I thought let’s do lesson 5…and again it hit me…I felt so off because I kept my self small, I didn’t protect my son in the way I wanted to, to avoid conflict. I explored the feeling of being trapped and I noticed this is my dominant feeling in the relationship, the feeling that stops me fully being present with said partner. I’m not trapped in a difficult dynamic I’m holding myself back! Again! I took my power back by messaging the school. I then noticed myself being wishy washy about who was making dinner and then bam it was there! I’m constantly giving my power over in the smallest of ways, that add up to me losing space in my home, my life, with my son! When I don’t choose, I lose space! This is all from the fear of this people pleasing, I don’t want conflict dynamic! Phew…