For those of you who have been following this thread I’m excited to share the most recent evolution. For those of you who are now here, let me catch you up. During our dream girl activation we took ourselves on 2 dates. A dream girl date for our inner child & an artist date to feed our muse. Both were very important activation points on my journey recently! During this inner child date I got a very strong pull to watch the cheetah girls, and let me tell you, I was inspired! The messaging, the energy, the sisterhood, unapologetically going after their dreams of stardom. It landed S a strong “yes” in my system and reminded me I want to do this! The form in which it wanted to take shape was still unclear but I felt that sacred spark. Then during the artist date I channeled a new archetype with a strong back story (story in Skool under artist date) that brought me to the realization that I want to do burlesque! And not just sexy for sexy but get a troupe of powerful, embodied women together to transmit a message through beauty, sensuality & artistic storytelling. Not a week later, I got 3 powerhouse women on board with me to bring this vision to life. We now have rehearsal every week leading up to an event I am going to host to showcase us. Not only that, but I (by the magic of life when you’re feeling inspired & lit up) I booked us a paid gig dancing burlesque on a pirate ship to Madonna on April 1rst! It feels fun, cosmically hilarious & absolutely inspiring. What unhinged dreams have been lighting you up lately? What do you think would happen if you held those seeds as sacred & watered your vision with care?

Recently, someone I really love came at me with probably the harshest verbal fire-hose of judgment I've ever received. The conversation actually started with "I have a lot of judgment toward you" then continued as a list of things back to back to back that they have judged me for. While there have been many times in the past I was the wall someone projected their judgment upon, this was an especially acute and intense experience. I'm sharing this because I learned a lot in that moment. Past versions of me FOR SURE would have gotten defensive. Would have heard their words and immediately rejected them and defended myself. I would have also taken things very personally and started to question my own self-worth. While it definitely brought up some emotions to sit with. . .this time was different. Before going into the conversation, which I knew may come with some tension due to what we were navigating, I remembered one of my favorite Christ teachings from The Way of Mastery. It says that in every interaction, our only responsibility is to extend love. The only RESPONSE-ABILITY is to extend love. Our ability to respond instead of being reactive comes from how much love we can anchor into our presence and extend to the other. From this perspective, as the fire-hose began spraying, I was able to look through a lens of non-judgment and actually see that the vast majority of what was being said was actually their own projection of inner judgment and assumption rather than an accurate assessment of me. Consciously entering a conversation choosing to extend love is really a protective shield, one that allows you to see more clearly, not be so easily impaled by the words of the other and even look at the other through eyes of understanding and compassion. In truth, there was one thing they shared that landed a blow. . .and this is only because it is something I had already judged myself for. And, that's the thing about judgment. It only really lands if it's a judgment you already hold within yourself.

I’ve been really learning the importance of rest + integration in expansive periods of life. We need equal amounts of integration post expansion to actually anchor in the reality as our new baseline rather then a high followed by a crash. When we don’t allow for rest the expansion is followed by a contraction keeping us on a rollercoaster. Rest is one of the MOST PRODUCTIVE things we can do. But how are you resting? Are spending down time without screens really allowing your mind & body to assimilate the beauty that you’re creating in your life? Even expansion can become exhausting when we don’t prioritize these moments. This is a big lesson on embodiment I’m learning right now & felt called to share. I love us!

On the theme of essence… I’m realizing more and more that this lifetime, for me, is about breaking generational curses. Very on-brand for my whole “I transmute lineage and turn it into wisdom” arc. Ancestral patterns truly hate to see me coming. Lately, I’ve been feeling especially protective of my younger siblings. When I hear echoes of how I was treated, something ancient wakes up in me. There’s a part of me that can make peace with my own past — my parents were human, they were learning, they didn’t have the tools yet. But watching the same patterns reach for a younger child? That’s different. That doesn’t just hurt — it clarifies. I realize now: I didn’t just survive that battlefield. I walked it. I burned in it. I healed in it. And I came back — not as the wounded soldier, but as the exalted warrior. I’ve also made a quiet, honest peace with something else: my family will likely never be the family I wished for. They may never fully see me, accept me, or meet me where I am. And long ago I stopped setting myself on fire to stay warm in a place that never was. I walked away from that fire — not in bitterness, but in self-respect. And in doing that, I became something new. I feel deeply honored that I get to be a place of safety for my younger siblings. A sanctuary. A nervous-system exhale. A place where they can be seen, believed, protected, and reminded of who they are. Some of us aren’t born into families to belong. Some of us are born into families to end things. And once you’ve done your healing, you don’t return to the battleground to fight the same war. You return with your spine straight. Your eyes open. Your essence intact. With all my love 💙🦋

I’m going to be vulnerable here because I feel so safe. For the past year (2025) I had smoked MJ nearly daily and for the 3 years before that very excessively. I had used it to “deepen” my connection to myself, to connect with my family & friends (who all smoke), and to be more creative. I claimed to not be reliant or addicted, yet anything used daily I would say you have an addiction to. Since the beginning of the year I let it go. This is day 11 of not consuming MJ, meat, or processed sugars. I realize how much of my power was being out sourced to the plant. There is healing in the plant yet when used sparingly & with intention. Since quitting I’ve experienced involuntary shaking in my body, one major experience was after the first Sunday meet up during my journal entries share and after our call ended I was shivering uncontrollably. I’m still sitting with what this shivering means yet I feel it could be unprocessed fears. I’ve had a hard time speaking, opening my throat and being completely transparent and vulnerable. Even today I noticed how shaky my voice feels and how uncomfortable it is to speak, which is why I was one of the last to speak. I battle with what to say or if I sound clear no matter how much space or freedom I’m given. I have so much to say yet I’ve shut myself down many times in life which makes saying anything now feel unpleasant. To help myself I have been enjoying random raps and singing my favorite songs from the tops of my lungs. Singing was something I adored when I was in middle school and stopped in high school. I actually remember my choir teacher telling me to sing softer because I was quite loud, louder than all the other students around me so it’s quite interesting to experience the opposite. I am devoted to opening my throat & living at least 6 months sober. I know I have a lot to process. I am very grateful for this group, the unique presence I feel from each of you, and the way you make me feel so held. Also please feel free to share any wisdom you have with me as I navigate going from a ganja girl to a super sober maiden allowing myself to open back up naturally.