Facing Down Judgment · Dream Girl Sanctuary

Facing Down Judgment

Recently, someone I really love came at me with probably the harshest verbal fire-hose of judgment I've ever received. The conversation actually started with "I have a lot of judgment toward you" then continued as a list of things back to back to back that they have judged me for. While there have been many times in the past I was the wall someone projected their judgment upon, this was an especially acute and intense experience.

I'm sharing this because I learned a lot in that moment. Past versions of me FOR SURE would have gotten defensive. Would have heard their words and immediately rejected them and defended myself. I would have also taken things very personally and started to question my own self-worth. While it definitely brought up some emotions to sit with. . .this time was different.

Before going into the conversation, which I knew may come with some tension due to what we were navigating, I remembered one of my favorite Christ teachings from The Way of Mastery. It says that in every interaction, our only responsibility is to extend love. The only RESPONSE-ABILITY is to extend love. Our ability to respond instead of being reactive comes from how much love we can anchor into our presence and extend to the other.

From this perspective, as the fire-hose began spraying, I was able to look through a lens of non-judgment and actually see that the vast majority of what was being said was actually their own projection of inner judgment and assumption rather than an accurate assessment of me. Consciously entering a conversation choosing to extend love is really a protective shield, one that allows you to see more clearly, not be so easily impaled by the words of the other and even look at the other through eyes of understanding and compassion.

In truth, there was one thing they shared that landed a blow. . .and this is only because it is something I had already judged myself for. And, that's the thing about judgment. It only really lands if it's a judgment you already hold within yourself.

This situation gave me an incredible opportunity to sit with judgment as a whole, from the outside and the inside. And, here are the 3 things I realized:

Judgment is a field. It is not just a single thought or an action but rather a dimension of consciousness. It creates unsafety because it is the source of insecurity, projection and hate. Judgment is a state of suffering, whether the condemning is being pointed at us or is coming from within us (toward ourselves or others). The key is NOT to judge the judgement but rather choose to unsubscribe to the field of judgment itself. Change the channel. This starts with letting go of inner judgment. . .especially toward yourself. (Thank you Dr. Sam Rader, my teacher and forevaa love, for illuminating this with me).
When someone is judging, there is a part of them that feels scared or uncertain, and it can go a long way to just meet it with presence and understanding (not condoning or feeding into it, but meeting it with non-judgment).
Allow your character to speak for you. Through your patience, your honesty, your trust and your ability to extend love. There is really nothing to defend when you are certain in your own character and response-ability.

Any body else experience anything similar recently? How does this land for you?

In love,

Jade

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