12 rules for life, Sapiens and Maps of Meaning, helped me a lot a few years ago

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@Jay Shah for me it was happening last week, now it is working but it has several confirmations for time schedule, I d like to know if it is done by zoom or something like that so I can be in a place by myself for example.

@John Hindley I got that part man, I mostly wanted to understand how it is done so I could schedule in a proper time.

Hoe_math

I might sound dumb saying this but at least I can tell what helped me, have you tried hit your local BJJ? It helped me a lot over the years because it is great exercise which helps you get tired, you gotta concentrate so it has this meditation aspect to it, and the biggest factor for me is the brotherhood you acquire with people who see you loosing and winning and respect you for trying. Even when everything goes wrong in the day I know at least I hit the gym, exercise my body and my social muscle, baby steps towards my goals, this tends to bring ME peace, I hope it helps you too my brother!

@Danny Jones I know here you're venting out you didn't necessarily ask for solutions, but since the forum is men of action, I'll give you one action to try. It's tradition in BJJ the master allow ppl to train in a conditional basis if they are motivated. That can be washing kimonos, cleaning the mat or once you get good enough teaching a few sessions for kids for example, at times nobody wanna come. This week you can go to the 5 closest BJJ gyms in your area do the free class they generally give. Train ask hard as you can, at the end of class ask the master if there's anything you could do on the gym like what I said above that would pay for you to keep training because you got no money. You might not even get in the first one, but I'm almost certain that if you visit 5 and do that you'll get a deal, after that is just train and honor that trust the master put on you. For the way you're talking it seems to me that you're full of energy and spinning downwards, like the problems are real and they sting, and often is unfair, but nobody is gonna save you, but yourself.