I’m listening to this song… and there’s something about it… this rhythm, this rise and fall, the way it carries you… sometimes I even pick up my guitar and just follow that groove, feeling how it moves through me without thinking too much about it and as I listen, I notice how I start to go with it… not just with the music, but with something deeper in me there’s this boxer… this part of me that doesn’t want to give up… and it takes me to places where it hurts to that moment where I left my family… and for a long time I couldn’t forgive myself for it those moments come back like a bell striking… clear… unavoidable… and then there’s this strange movement… like returning… like something pulling me back into myself and I stand there… looking the tiger in the eyes… even when it bares its teeth and I don’t give up I don’t give in to the temptations, to the thoughts that try to pull me away I stay even when the wind is strong and again and again I notice this… this look… this raw presence… like the eye of the tiger itself something in me becomes very clear in those moments and I keep going I rise… slowly… not perfectly… but steadily I live my life… I try to help where I can… to give something back from what was given to me and I find myself writing this book… bringing all these experiences into it… letting them flow into something that might reach someone else all of this… in the eye of the tiger 🎧 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btPJPFnesV4 I’m curious… does anyone feel this in their own way? 😄 I’d love to hear your version of the eye of the tiger

I have developed some intense attachment or overindulgence in thinking… in narrated my observation. It is so fucking overwhelming. I am not sleeping well at all. I already know I have been through some hard shit in my life and I developed thinking patterns to protect myself and be vigilant of myself and others but I am SPENT! I want to be able to just choose to totally be like not in the cycle of view, notice, analyze, observe or whatever, over and over and over again constantly. I CANT SLEEP. It’s getting to the point where my head like is wanting to dead it entirely. I am trying to sort through, in those moments, maybe how to disengage, instead of observing the thoughts and engaging with the observation - rather to just see the them as perhaps not important or even just not necessary. I believe I have found comfort in thinking, I am obsessive as fuck. There’s got to be people out there who have thought and thought themself into oblivion and found peace after somehow!

════════════════════════════════════ The Bullying The bus door shuts. I sit down near the back like usual. Two guys beside me. One across the aisle. One of them pulls out his phone and starts laughing. Not normal laughing. The kind where someone keeps looking at you while they do it. One of them turns the phone around. “Someone made this your TikTok profile picture.” It is a picture of me. An old one. From when I was younger. Edited. Stupid looking. Everyone on the bus starts laughing. And I cannot even check if it is real. I deleted social media months before. So now I just sit there with this feeling in my stomach that something is happening everywhere online and I cannot see it. ════════════════════════════════════ This is how the whole thing ends. But it does not start there. ════════════════════════════════════ January. Final year of school. Before Christmas break I had one real friend. Not a big group. Just one. During the break he leaves school. Just like that. So when January comes around, I walk back into school and there is no one to sit with. Lunch. Break. Classes. Just me. I start hanging around a group of guys in the year below. I call them friends because it feels better than saying I am alone. They are not friends. At first it is small things. Little jokes. Little comments. Nothing huge. So I play along. I laugh. I make jokes back. I act like a clown. That was the mistake. Because now they know I react. And reacting makes it fun. So the jokes get worse. A little worse. Then worse again. Days pass. Then weeks pass. Then months pass. Lunch time becomes the worst part of the day. They start calling me names. They try grabbing things from my pockets. Sometimes they take pictures of me. Soon it is not just them. It spreads. Whole groups laughing. One day a crowd forms. Dozens of people. Just standing there calling me names. I shout something back. A teacher walks over. And somehow I am the one who gets in trouble. ════════════════════════════════════ February.

Writer: With time, the love will always come back to you, my friend. I promise. Answerer: You are right, LOVE (EVOL) will always come back, because LOVE (EVOL) is needy and has an incessant craving to cause immense pain and heartbreak in those who beleeve in LOVE (EVOL). LOVE (EVOL) feeds on grief, sadness, agony, torture, disappointment, betrayal etc. LOVE (EVOL) will always hurt you, no matter how many different relationships you enter into with LOVE (EVOL). LOVE IS EVOL EVOL IS LOVE.

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1A6YFpnGa1/ Can anyone see that short? I'd like to read your views on it. I don't consider I am 'awakening' in the sense it's talked about here. But due to different quite difficult circumstances in my life, I had to sort of re-build or build myself again... or perish (I was under ECT in 2024...). I lost most of my friends since then, and had to set firm boundaries with my family, they have been quite an issue. I feel better with this 'new self' that's being born now, I feel much better alone and in silence now. I've always felt nothing is permament but change, and that we're into life to evolve and connect. But people around me reject change, fiercely, and even get rather angry and suspicious at me. I suppose they don't like me getting away from their mind-games, to which I used to be 100% 'functional', but also led to that deep and painful crises. It does not hurt me, I take it as it is...and just drift away from them in mind and heart and follow my intuitive compass the best I can. I lost a lot of my memory and memories, it is taking me more than 1 year to recover from the ECT and I still have blanks and get lost sometimes. Have nice days :)