@Michael K I am un-divorced to someone exhibiting traits of a grandiose narcissist. It feels like a daily barefoot ultramarathon on eggshells in hell. I am no relationship expert, I can only share my own experience, from my personal perspective. My spouse would obviously have a different perspective, which I would like to understand. First, look for Paul Benjamin Apex mindset and his series on narcissistic women specifically. Narcissism is not a gender issue, but the manifestations are different. Active denigration, adultery and gaslighting are common. No-one can compete with someone else's childhood trauma. My mother was a covert malignant narcissist. My bitter half comes from a lineage of grandiose narcissist grandmother, covert malignant mother. Apples don't fall too far from the rotten tree. Ironically, we married on the promise we would mutually heal our childhood trauma. We often bring our past into our future either to heal it, avoid it or replicate it. As a result, we mate by familiarity. When kids arrived, we defaulted back to our childhood training. I devolved into a nice boy trying to appease his mom with bouts of rage while she reverted to her lineage. I was trapped back into a worse version of my childhood, something I had created and was responsible for. I have been working on myself, healed a lot. I am still far from perfect. No matter how much high road I want to take, I am still regularly dragged in some muddy waters by someone who projects her inner hell like some Disney woke TV series. I sincerely wish for her to heal this insatiable inner void of "I am not good enough". I would love for her to be happy, free and radiate joy. Kids would love that too, but... If I had to do it again, I would never, ever, under no circumstance allow a relationship with someone with narcissistic traits to move beyond recreational use only. I would be paranoid about baby trapping. A full blown narcissist will find it perfectly fair game to baby trap her prey. Meanwhile, I would work on myself, heal and attract someone healthier.