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4 contributions to MindChrysalis
Glad to be here
Does anyone else have trouble "finding" the exact place and time in our lives when we first felt something? Not my first time through meditation or hypnosis
New comment 27d ago
5 likes • May 13
For me it kind of depends on what the issue is. For the first session I did with Ryan it honed in a specific moment right around age four or five, for other self guided sessions it was a general age range for most. The most recent one I did, which I described in a thread a few weeks ago, I was three years old. At least I felt that way in the session, it could have been my subconscious collecting all the events in my life together and presenting them at that age. In my experience though it's been fairly nebulous. I suspect that occurs if the trauma was often and/or spread out over time, and the subconscious just begins to blend it all together.
Major Breakthrough
So I broke up with my girlfriend a month ago, after a over a year of conventional dialog therapy with a psychologist and trying to figure out if I was the asshole or if I was actually dealing with an abusive girlfriend. I'd been wanting to break up for a long time, but never had the cajones to actually do it. When I was actually able to do it I broke down completely, feeling like a total asshole, and a few days afterward tried to get back with her. Whenever she asked me a question that I wanted to answer honestly my body froze up completely, and I started tensing up and fight my brain on actually saying something. I wanted to speak my thoughts and feelings, but my body would not let me at all. After we got off the phone I immediately went and did a trauma clearing audio because I knew the feelings were at a high intensity. When I got into the identifying portion I went back to being three years old and my mom is screaming at me. She won't stop screaming at me. I'm three years old and don't even understand what she's screaming about, or if this is even a real memory, but I'm curled up into a ball terrified out of my three year old mind. In the real world forty year old me is bawling his eyes out on the floor, furious and screaming back at his mom for being so horrible to a defenseless little kid. I hadn't cried that much in probably five years, maybe ten. I had to pause the recording for ten minutes just to process the whole thing because I was blubbering snotty teary mess. I was able to go back in and send it all away in the tornado, and produce a protective force field, and immediately after the recording ended I passed out in exhaustion on my sleeping pad I had setup on the floor for the session. Woke up two hours later and went to bed. The next morning I felt like I had been released from prison. I was happy and excited about the day, and looking forward to collecting my thoughts on my relationship with my girlfriend and going to an extra therapy session to try and refine them before meeting my girlfriend for a talk about if we were going to get back together. Because despite the crap I've dealt with from her, she actually is a very sweet girl who has a huge level of trauma herself that she has never tried to remedy, and the little girl inside is screaming for the love and safety that she never got as a kid.
New comment May 1
3 likes • Apr 29
@Laurent Bernut I have read NMMNG once before, and had to take breaks reading it because it home so hard. I've been meaning to read or listen to it again to see what's changed in my mind over the past four years since last reading it.
4 likes • Apr 30
@Laurent Bernut In the past two days I've linked this site to someone on Reddit going through huge anxiety problems, and Ryan's channel to visiting vendor at work who talked to me about her nephew's eating problems. I often suggest Ryan's channel to people online.
Quick question
Is Trauma a form of attachment? Is it a negative association to a memory? I don't know the exact words to use but I thought I'll give it a go.
New comment 2d ago
4 likes • Apr 29
From my studying trauma is the leading cause of the attachment style, not a form of it. Attachment styles are a response and adaption to the various traumas we experience as young children, and even as adults. It does seem like attachment wounding can occur at any age if the trauma is great enough to overcome our internal defenses.
Falling asleep in self hypnosis
Does this happen to anyone else? I know it's very common but it's been happening a lately. I've been doing predominantly Gestalt audio and I keep falling asleep right towards the end.
New comment Apr 28
4 likes • Apr 28
I've found that after the trauma clearing I fall asleep, almost like passing out. It especially happens if the trauma was very intense. I think my mind was so exhausted from processing it that it decides to shut down and rest, or maybe it's so relaxed from not having to deal with that crap any more that it can finally rest.
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Matt Perry
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Joined Feb 2, 2024
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