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Men of Action Forum

Public • 2.9k members

10 contributions to Men of Action Forum
Update with marriage issues
I recently posted about a discussion my wife and I had, and I received some valuable suggestions on how to approach the situation. Following the advice, I decided to give my wife more time, communicate with her, and work towards resolving any problems. However, a recent conversation with her has left me deeply perplexed. After years of legal battles, I finally gained custody of my children from my ex-wife, and I've been raising them alongside my wife's 3 and 4-year-old sons since they were young. This morning, my wife expressed gratitude for everything I've done for her, her children, and her parents who moved from Venezuela. Unexpectedly, she then admitted that what I've done for her and her kids is beyond her capabilities. She confessed that she struggles to spend time with them as a mother would and, shockingly, suggested that I send my children back to their biological mother. She asserted that this would allow our life to return to how it was before. Stunned, I managed to respond by acknowledging her feelings and agreeing to the arrangement, but I emphasized the need for changes in how we approach things moving forward. While I haven't outlined the specifics of these changes, I have a general idea of what needs to be addressed. This revelation has left me lost for words and battling a surge of emotions. Despite my initial reaction, I refrained from expressing anger physically and opted for a more measured response. I'm now in the process of formulating a plan for how to move forward with this newfound information, all while grappling with the emotional toll of the situation.
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New comment Jan 19
2 likes • Jan 12
Reading your other post and this one feels to me that she is thinking the more kids there are around the less of priority she is going to be, and her needs not addressed (but there seems element of selfishness on her side to tbh). She isnt wanting to talk to you about solutions to this (which is the man way of thinking, she comes with problem we want to solve it), she wants to feel heard and her emotions, feelings and needs acknowledged a lot of times that's all she needs too, you to be her rock that hears her, but also you need to be the leader and guide her. Practically all the kids in your house need to be treated the same (I'm not clear if all the kids in the house are yours or not) by both you and her, otherwise you are fostering problems in your relationship with them down the line. She will never feel the same about your kids as hers but that doesn't change how they are practically treated, and that goes for how your earlier kids treat her, respect both ways. In addition YOU need lead, to come up with the solutions around giving everyone in the household what they need, whether that's all family days out/activities, taxiing them to outside activities and making sure you have time as husband and wife not just Mam and Dad which can be hard in busy homes. I was in similar situation but from the otherside I had two stepkids as well as my daughter, clearly I have more feelings for my daughter but they all got the same all got attention from me and all got the same discipline etc, and yes I got the your not my Dad nonsense when they got to teenage years but that never washed with me lol.
Alternative ways to be high status?
I Know a lot of the goals here is to meet high status and be high status. A couple things, what if you are Autistic or on the spectrum and that no matter how much status you build through IG and online in person you have awkward tendencies and social anxiety really stresses you out. Also What if you have trouble connecting with high status people. And you connect better with Neurodivergent people who do things like bars, bored games, or non well known typical high status events. Anybody who can relate have some input.
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New comment Jan 13
4 likes • Jan 12
What you need to do is take the learning's from the program and apply it to you and the type of people you want to be around. The stereotype here is being around models and the clubbing scene etc, if thats not for you then don't aim for it, just reframe to you and what you want. If you want to be high status in events that's comfortable for you then take everything from here and apply it there. So still have an amazing instagram, instead of lists of models/hot clubbing types, get a list of girls who goto the places and events you want to be at, if thats Board game events, comicon etc then go for it that way. Invite them same way as if it was Babes in Toyland, aim to show up with a group of them the same, the principals of attracting others will work. Giving people value might not be photoshoots it might be showing up to stuff with the newest latest games, it might be helping newbies learn the games, it might be organizing a regular games night, as you get to know people it might be access to meet celebs at comicons etc. Volunteer at some of the events even or help someone who is organizing with whatever your skills are. Being someone who can show up with a bunch of people will open doors for you in all walks of life. On top of that make sure you a looksmaxxing, so make sure your getting in shape have nice clothes etc etc. Standout in the crowd you are around, there are high value people in those scenes as well, suited to where I suspect you want to go and people you feel confident around. You will then gain confidence etc yourself and while the anxiety wont necessarily go away you will be able to use that confidence to develop strategies to help you when you are uncomfortable and you still around your people who get you anyway. I'm in a similar boat I'm 50 and dont really want to hang out in clubs and around 20 Year olds but am looking at how to apply the principals of the program to the life I do want.
The year 2024 has 366 days.
Mean we got a extra day in February 29
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New comment Jan 4
1 like • Jan 4
You need to hide from any woman in your life on the 29th Feb, dunno if its just a UK tradition but that's the day ladies can ask men to marry them :)
Insta Blue Tick
Worth getting as it potentially shows status or now devalued as anyone can get one? Edit also plea for likes to get me to level 4 and access to the vault.
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New comment Jan 9
2 likes • Jan 4
@Maxime Cote disagree low status is not asking the "dumb" questions and remaining ignorant. high status is confidence in knowing otherwise and use resources at their disposal to increase knowledge and make correct decisions.
What Are Your Goals/Action Plan For 2024?
I'm buying a Kindle today to start going through the 44 recommended books. I'm so glad I found MOA and this community ~ very grateful to everyone here! So what are your goals for 2024 and how do you plan to achieve them? IG: @nomadic.jordan (also share your IG)
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New comment Dec '23
4 likes • Dec '23
I'm goal setting in a different way - setting actions not results - eg some of the above clear debt ones thats a result - whats the next or daily action that gets you there. In the past I would have set a goal eg run 3 hour marathon in April, setting a more daily goal of 60-90 minute running a day, byte size chunks and constant sense of achievement, you cant control results I might get injured I might have a nightmare race and miss the 3 hours but if I have done all the steps to get there have achieved and will achive more in the future. Currently rereading Getting Things Done and re-refining my workflows into next steps.
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David Mckenna
3
37points to level up
@david-mckenna-6855
UK based Solution Architect - single after 20+ years and looking to build Social Network from scratch.

Active 45d ago
Joined Dec 4, 2023
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