A growth post! As I write this I look back at the journey I have been on! I really disliked the part of the growth that made me talk to the parts of me that protected me to this point. I felt like it was waste of time and it was somewhat defeating due to the fact that it seemed like I should just be able to shove it down and handle it and move on. But the more I have had those conversations with the different parts the more I have realized all it was doing was protecting me from myself and my growth and my potential that god has in store for me. Part of the journey and all things happen for a reason. Look back once in awhile and look how far you have come!

Today I felt myself getting more and more anxious as the day went on. I was going through the motions of getting through the day while taking care of my 2 youngest children. After I laid them down for their naps I felt this rush of worry hit me and I sat down and just cried. I closed my eyes did some breath work and envisioned myself adult self standing behind my young boy self and asked what are you trying to protect me from. After I talked with this part of me I felt a sense of relief and was able to allow my adult self to handle the situation and let my younger self not feel like it needed to protect me in this moment.

To be seen, acknowledged, and respected. Now this title is a combination of the; 30 day leaderboard, Grounded Man Score (from your check ins) and showing up actively in our live sessions. So for January, With an average Grounded Man score of 57.5, Im excited to name @Daniel Edge as January's Grounded Man of the Month. Only just coming in ahead of @Alec Liebhardt . Congratulations brother, the integration and embodiment of the work here you take into the real world is impressive and to be admired. It truly is a privilege to see the way you take these learnings and practices and implement them asap, despite some of the doubt or nice guy parts wanting to slow down. I would love if all the men here can share below in a comment just point of admiration or acknowledge you've seen in Daniel's growth in this container.

The time that I looked back at was when I had asked my ex if we didn’t go back to trying poly if it would mean she would want to end things. When she said yes I completely lost it and broke down for 10 minutes on the ground. The truth of this was that the part in me of always being alone and left out as a child that would do anything to please people to fit in didn’t want to go back to feeling alone again without her in my life. I had become so connected to her that I didn’t have a life outside of her. Now knowing this I’ve learned that I can stand on my own and create a life that doesn’t require a partner to still be me.

Just a reflection on my last week, I've been struggling with reactivity and I got in from Uni tonight and realised a part was basically screaming at me. After some of the Stomatic Boundary work it really helped, I think I'm recognising a part of this process is not just take in information and then boom you'll be grounded its a lot of trail and error and the lessons are all tools to help guide the process.