What version of you are you afraid of becoming? I'm afraid of becoming a Man that is willing to be disliked. I'm afraid to own my people pleasing trait to the fullest because it means acceptance that I have no boundaries, unless I do not care about the person's opinion and because of this I never want to be seen as a liar, someone who overpromises and hence doesn't follow through on their word

Some of you may have experienced this already, Maybe it was over thanks giving, Or maybe you’ll get this over Christmas when you see your friends and family. See these as opportunities for them to meet the evolving you. Yes it will make some uncomfortable- but their reactions and emotions are not your responsibility. Have you experienced this push back yet? How did you handle it?

Yesterday at bedtime well most bedtimes, is when I tend to crack and lose control of emotions or I’m just rushing through the routine of it. My oldest daughter likes to dawdle quite bit around these times and I always get on her about it. So not just this week but most days I lay them down I’m doing this but tonight before we start I’m going to breathe and get to a good spot in my core and be intentional with what I say and instead of correct actions I will connect with my actions. If I feel myself getting tight and frustrated I will breathe again and get through the bedtime routine without losing control and being grounded and more present during this time.

"I have no control over how people will perceive me. The best thing I can do is be myself" It was mind-blowing to realise that I have no control over how people will perceive me. Even if I try to give Nice guy approaches, the outcome I'm striving for by doing that, still may not even happen. So the Nice guy would of course double down but it makes so much more sense to just be yourself because you have no control anyway, and that way you haven't wasted energy guessing! Action; Three traits you most desire to embody as a man (e.g. calm, confident, grounded). - Honest & Transparent - Maintains boundaries - Emotionally grounded The personal consequences of fully embodying each trait — how will it change your relationships, habits, and social dynamics? 1. This would mean putting myself out there even if it risks an argument/discussion. Not because the fight has been building but because I have made my feelings known 2. Maintaining boundaries would mean I would likely have arguments with some people. Even if I am going to look at it as an interaction of ideas. It's likely that this isn't guaranteed they will see it the same and may result in me having to hold my ground 3. By being emotionally grounded I'm going to have to address my people pleasing which will mean the amount I've been providing to others may not be same and will mean potential conflicts The fears or limiting beliefs tied to how others might perceive these traits? I'm most afraid about not being accepted for this version of me. If the true me is not loved by the ones around me. Because embodiment of these traits would mean showing my true colours. I'm afraid that who I am is not desirable, but I would rather die than exist this way anymore.

Well cold showers are definitely something. How long do you strive to stay in the shower to “master this”? Also my wife and I hardly ever fight, I fact I can’t even really remember the last time we fought, so I switched the conflict module to with my kids. Of course it didn’t take very long for them to get in an argument. Nevertheless, “Stop, let’s take a break to calm down and take a few minutes to breathe” sounds a lot better when I said it sternly, but slow and calm, vs how I always used to say it which was basically yelling over my kids so they would listen to me. Calm, cool, controlled composure does go along way.