Identify Level: I believe from this situation I'm at Level 2 The stages of Evolution is something I've been noticing a lot recently but felt daft to seeing it that way. The confession I posted about the talk with my partner about GMM showed me that at one point she walked off. I would've stayed in that space, basically waited for her to come back and had the same results. But when it happened I decided fine I need to cool off too, so I left the space as well, went for a walk did some breathing. I can back more grounded. I'm still at the point where I could navigate the situation as you all saw, I retreated to my old self when I saw how she reacted to this need for change. But now I know there will be another opportunity, and that gap will get smaller and smaller 🤏 My drill to practice daily (With Alarm implemented!) Practice the drill out loud today (say a heated line fast vs. slow and notice the shift). * and hopefully "Use it once in real conflict this week"

What version of you are you afraid of becoming? I'm afraid of becoming a Man that is willing to be disliked. I'm afraid to own my people pleasing trait to the fullest because it means acceptance that I have no boundaries, unless I do not care about the person's opinion and because of this I never want to be seen as a liar, someone who overpromises and hence doesn't follow through on their word

Funnily enough I hadn't even finished watching the video I was half way through when this happened. I paused it because my girlfriend wanted me to get in the pool with her, so I said "okay let me shower off (hotel policy) then I'll come in. By the time I've been for a shower my girlfriend is out of the pool with her cousin on the sunbed. I ask " what happend I thought we were getting in?" She told me that the three men in the pool had been going underwater and staring at them and following them around the pool. We then had a group of younger girls come to us and tell us something similar. My first thought was just conflict, go straight to them and basically make a scene. But I just thought, why am I doing all this, if I just watch these videos and pay this man I'm never gonna change I'm responsible I have to be the Man I want to be. I told my partner first I wanted to raise it, she told me to just leave it but I knew what was going to happen, they were going to end up having to do it. Instead I went to reception anyway and made the complaint. When I got back another man in the family was attempting to make the same complaint, let him know I had been to reception and then we got security down and the situation was handled gracefully. Bonus; I'd just like to let the guys in here knowq my state/emotions to actually be able to walk up to reception. It may help them. I had the idea and sat with it for what felt like eternity but was probably about 2-3mins. I finally got up and made my way to reception, my heart was pounding and my body was shaking. I walked past reception and told myself "I'll double check they're in the pool still" which was half true but also I was not in a state to talk. I walked down the corridor talking to myself saying "why am I doing this, what am I afriad of? What If it was my daughter?" And then another thought came "it is... It's your girlfriend and you are letting this continue" at that moment I just continued to walk back straight up to reception mouthing the words "fuck it, fuck it". Basically meaning, I don't care what happens to me I'm not letting this go unnoticed.

"I have no control over how people will perceive me. The best thing I can do is be myself" It was mind-blowing to realise that I have no control over how people will perceive me. Even if I try to give Nice guy approaches, the outcome I'm striving for by doing that, still may not even happen. So the Nice guy would of course double down but it makes so much more sense to just be yourself because you have no control anyway, and that way you haven't wasted energy guessing! Action; Three traits you most desire to embody as a man (e.g. calm, confident, grounded). - Honest & Transparent - Maintains boundaries - Emotionally grounded The personal consequences of fully embodying each trait — how will it change your relationships, habits, and social dynamics? 1. This would mean putting myself out there even if it risks an argument/discussion. Not because the fight has been building but because I have made my feelings known 2. Maintaining boundaries would mean I would likely have arguments with some people. Even if I am going to look at it as an interaction of ideas. It's likely that this isn't guaranteed they will see it the same and may result in me having to hold my ground 3. By being emotionally grounded I'm going to have to address my people pleasing which will mean the amount I've been providing to others may not be same and will mean potential conflicts The fears or limiting beliefs tied to how others might perceive these traits? I'm most afraid about not being accepted for this version of me. If the true me is not loved by the ones around me. Because embodiment of these traits would mean showing my true colours. I'm afraid that who I am is not desirable, but I would rather die than exist this way anymore.

This was mental to think about, brought up a lot of good & memories about both parents and how I see them. I may need to dive deeper into this on my journey, but my main focus is shifting the vision to the meanings below... Grounded = Controlling Intimate = Vulnerable Powerful = Hurtful - Where did that association come from? I think a lot came from my father and his insecurities. I recall the poor moments to stand his ground and the lack of intimacy he showed towards my mother. I saw the power he had in negative outcomes, few times in positive one's. - How has it limited your growth or expression? I looked up to my father, he took me to all my football games, rugby matches. We went hunting, fishing. You name it. I started going the pub with him and his mates at 14 and thought "I want this to be the rest of my life" it was only when my mother snapped that I saw another side of it and it flipped the script. - What new meaning could you assign to reclaim that trait fully? Grounded = Safe in chaos Intimate = Safe in company Powerful = Set's boundaries