@Tracy Weiss do you know why the blueprint is still locked for me? I watched 2.5hrs of the session today before I had to end - but I think it was nearly finished anyway as it was the Q&A - I'm fairly sure I signed in using the same email - but my name was showing as Chris not Christi

@Ella Call I discovered Flylady - lasted about 3 days - the only thing I remember was putting your shoes on - I couldn’t even do that, I’m barefoot all year round unless I’m out the house - but even then I can’t stand socks so unless we’re hiking or skiing it’s barefoot in sandals or crocs

This was the sentence in my summary that really hit home “You have spent six decades earning permission from a voice that is no longer in the room.” and “you've never been allowed to be the authority on what you value.” and maybe that’s why I’m finally starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel because my mother is no longer telling me how I should feel - Sage says I’m still doing that to myself - the final sentence was “The question is whether you are finally allowed to want.”

I was diagnosed at 60 so I’ve coped without meds for a very long time - I was on a low dose of citalopram for a long time (20 yrs!) I weaned myself off it before I got the adhd meds and off caffeine because I drink shed loads of diet coke (that water, milk and oj are my only drinks). I was first given Elvane which cleared my mind but my heart was racing dangerously (138bpm resting) so then they gave me Medikinet but the diasage was “take it as you need it, keep a journal so you can work out the correct dosage” well that never happened, I retired and my mh really suffered I think due to the lack of structure and mental stimulation, then I got diagnosed with breast cancer and they took me off hrt and gave me drugs to stop estrogen and an anti depressant which is supposed to stop the side effects of the anti estrogen and I already take diabetes drugs so tbh I couldn’t be bothered journaling I had no idea what was affecting me - I discovered the only thing that helped was going on holidays and I also stopped the glp-1 i was on for the diabetes as the nausea was making me miserable I decided I’d survived 60+ years so I’d not bother and go back to self medicating with diet coke At Xmas I was feeling a bit better so nurse put me on a new glp-1 and at the same time I introduced l-theanine and l-tyrosine and magnesium glycinate - and a new “system” of sorting out a month of pills into daily boxes so that I’m taking everything far more consistently We went skiing for 5 weeks but in between I rejoined the gym and allowed myself to pay for it even while we were away so that when we got back and between holidays I had no excuse not to go Before this I was really struggling getting out of bed and I was getting nothing done - but since this “reset” my mh has improved - I am going to the gym 5 times a week - so that’s 5 days I definitely get up before mid day, I’ve started a todo list - as soon as I think “I must…” I put it in my phone (some things have been on it now for months but once it’s on the list it isn’t nagging me in my brain) I’m writing everything in my phone calendar where I used to rely on my memory