Well anything I’ve said here did not have to be said in that way. I don’t even remember exactly, but if I am in that much pain, and not really my usual self, it’s not likely to come out so well and I could become insulting and upset people. So although I have valid arguments here, there are better ways to speak than that. It was all impulsive and written extremely fast again with my thumbs trying to keep up with my mind, so I’m sorry about that. You would not ever understand anyway. Maybe if I wrote a dozen novels you could potentially, at least have the potential to understand, if experienced in such things, or have the capacity to imagine I suppose. It’s a unique type of syndrome of abuses that become hidden for a lifetime all piled on top of each other. I am an anomaly to have survived. I know, what does my story matter anyway. It never does. I will only post and ghost at this point anyway. But people should be able to understand this simple concept. Say if other people shot you in the back and can’t walk anymore and then your stuck with caregivers that betray their duty and choose to harm you more while you have to rely on them and don’t have anything or anyone else at that point, because of the injury, but then there’s no one advocating for you and you’re just all alone and no one believes anything you say, because the people in control can pretend very well, so no one questions them. Or maybe they even believe what they’re doing is right. At the same time, they confuse you and make you think they care, but you are not understanding because how can they do this to you. Turns out it was the caregivers who shot you in the back in the first place. But this is only the very beginning. And it’s not really the beginning either when you look at the totality. It’s too complicated for people. Too much time, too many things taking place. Too much emotion tied to every memory. And a mind that never forgets. But it’s not the past that is the present. It’s what’s still wrong in the present that restricts from being whole. That can be fixed and I know how. But I’ve not been allowed.