Rewards aka day 26 · The Somatic Academy by Soma+IQ

Rewards aka day 26

As as a child I worshipped my mother and was also afraid of her. By the time I was 16 I couldn’t wait to move away. Whenever I’d get upset I’d plan ways to save money to get away then she’d do something nice and I’d forgive her thinking I was being silly. I mean what did I know I was a child.

Our relationship has been a rollercoaster. In 2019 she moved in with me. At that time I’d accepted certain things about myself and life and realized she was unable to own any part of the hurt she caused me and others.

I was in a place I loved myself and had dealt with more than enough situations without her that I no longer needed motherly support. It was enough for us to just have a loving cordial relationship. We didn’t live in a hallmark movie and I was good with that. Some how in her mind (she’s always been delusional) we were🤷🏽‍♀️

In 2020 I got a business coach and life coach so the focus was on building me. I told her then things were going to change and she was excited about it. I think it was because she thought of me making more money and elevating her, pamper her and giving her reason to brag. What she didn’t consider was me pulling away from her.

In that time I grew more confident and was able to face some tough truths about myself and life. Weeeeeelll, at times I’m all or nothing and with someone who believes it’s their way or no way I felt this had to be. We fussed and argued and went days without speaking. My blood would boil then I’d get mad at myself for letting her get to me. All the while making sure she had no worries other than what she created. I figured that had to be enough because I had nothing else to give.

If you got this far you might be wondering what’s this all about and where’s the reward. Okay I’ll tell ya.

Since she moved out 4 months ago like a thief in the night I make sure to call at least once a week. Today I called after my daily and before going to my next things. We were on the phone for more than 1 hour and she talked most of the time. It was mostly controversial and confrontational conversation again she talked the most, she usually does 😹

The reward was that I was not triggered in anyway and was able to let what used to hurt go. I’m so very grateful for these past 26 days.

Everyday I share my thought and testify of the goodness of daily practice and today I dealt with one of the most difficult people in my life and it did not disrupt my life.

I pray that as we deal with difficulties in our lives we remember the lessons we’ve been given and taught in our healing spaces so that we will be able to move gracefully forward.

Much Love and Many Blessings!

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