How to navigate, zabiha halal, Madhab and niqab.

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

I’m hoping to start a general discussion and seek guidance on how to navigate certain situations when it comes to marriage, especially when values align in theory but practical concerns arise.

For some background: I follow the Hanafi madhhab, eat zabiha (hand-slaughtered) halal only, and observe sharee niqab (including in front of my brother-in-laws). I understand that checking these boxes does not automatically make someone a good or compatible spouse. In fact, I’ve encountered individuals who met these criteria but were ultimately not compatible.

There are often people who express interest and say they are supportive of these practices. However, my concern is how to determine whether this support is genuine and long-term, or simply verbal agreement to move forward with marriage. For example, I have seen situations where a husband later encourages leniency—such as suggesting it’s fine to uncover in front of his brothers or saying not to “make things complicated”—even though I personally do not follow those opinions.

The same concern applies to halal consumption. I’ve heard from sisters whose husbands later felt that eating from places with a general “halal” sign in the West should be sufficient, despite the wife being uncomfortable with this. While some mention that hand-slaughtered meat is difficult to find in the UK or US, I have family in both countries who have said this has not been an issue for them.

Another area is madhhab compatibility. At times everything else aligns well, but the person does not follow a madhhab. While I fully respect that approach, I personally feel that spouses being aligned in madhhab matters to me for consistency and harmony in practice.

Additionally, I do not wish to live in a joint family setup. Although I am ethnically Pakistani/Indian, I am not cultural, do not speak Urdu, and have found that many religious families who prefer joint living are also strongly cultural. Because of this, I often feel I am not a good fit, and vice versa.

My question to the group is:

How does one navigate these situations wisely and fairly? How can someone distinguish between genuine compatibility and temporary agreement? And how do we balance being firm on non-negotiables without feeling like we are being unreasonable or overly cautious?

I would truly appreciate insights, advice, or personal experiences.

جزاكم الله خيرًا

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