I have never truly been in love, though I have experienced crushes and moments of infatuation at times. For a while, I used to feel embarrassed by that, almost as if it meant I lacked experience or had missed something important. But over time, I have begun to see it differently. Now I reframe it as something intentional and meaningful. By loving Allah first, I believe my romantic love and deepest emotional attachment are meant to be reserved for my future husband, in shaa Allah. To me, that love is not something casual or something to be given freely to just anyone — it is an amanah, something precious and worthy of protection. Instead of seeing my lack of romantic love as a deficiency, I now see it as a sign that my heart has been preserved for the right person, at the right time, in the way Allah has written for me. That perspective gives me peace rather than shame. Has anyone else felt the same way?

Salaam everyone, I wanted to share something personal and get some honest advice from sisters who may have gone through something similar. I’m 22 and currently a student. About a year ago, my family and I were speaking to another family for marriage. In the beginning, everything felt really right; our families got along well, conversations were smooth, and there seemed to be strong compatibility in terms of deen, lifestyle, and interests. I spoke to the mother and the son, and both interactions were genuinely good. There was mutual understanding and attraction, and it felt easy to talk to him. But shortly after we started making istikhara, there was a sudden shift. His parents became inconsistent in communication: calls weren’t answered, messages were vague, and overall it created a lot of confusion and anxiety for us. Despite this, the son still expressed interest and even mentioned moving forward with another meeting. During that time, I kept making istikhara, and internally I started feeling uneasy. By around the seventh day, I felt strongly that I shouldn’t go ahead, so I told my parents I didn’t want to continue; even though I really liked him and had hoped it would work out. Now, over a year later, I still find myself thinking about him. I’ve spoken to other potentials since, but I haven’t felt the same level of connection or alignment. It makes me wonder if I made the right decision, or if I let something good go because of fear or mixed signals. At the same time, I also question whether the communication issues from his family were red flags that I shouldn’t ignore. So I wanted to ask: Have any of you experienced something similar? Do you think this is something I should let go of and trust my istikhara, or could it have been a case of wrong timing? Jazakum Allahu khayran in advance for your advice 🤍

Not every “good on paper” proposal is right for you. One sister said, “I learned that feeling uneasy is also a sign.” The right man won’t rush you, overlook your concerns, or make you doubt your instincts. He’ll give you space, reassurance, and clarity. Marriage should feel like sakinah… not stress. What helps you feel at peace in the process? 🤍

Salam, I have a question regarding when do you share your personal contact with a potential person? I matched with someone and he wants to talk on whatsapp, his reason being he is a doctor and doesn't use the app much, when I told him that I prefer to use the app initially. My initial plan was to talk on the app, see if we align on our vision of marriage, life goals, deen understanding, just the basics, then if we both feel that we can see something happening then share personal contacts. I am conflicted, I don’t want to create this an issue but I am not sure what to do. Jazakallah khair!!

Assalamu Alaikum sisters Where I live , we do something called a samosa run where the boys family together with the boy come to the girls family. The boy and the girl are allowed to have a conversation for around 30 minutes. Then the boy's mother would tell the girl's mother if he wants to marry her. Then the girl has to decide if she wants to marry him. So what I'm struggling with is how do I know whether this person is someone that I want to marry. How do I know someone's character from 1 conversation?