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Muslim Marriage Accelerator
760 members • Free
27 contributions to Muslim Marriage Accelerator
5d •
Non-negotiables 2
So my five non negotiables are : 1. To be able to pursue a career and further studies if I want to. 2. That he has not been married before and is not looking for polygamy. 3. That he is Sunni & okay with my wearing of the niqab and to know what his view on it is. 4. Does not plan to move to the west. 5. Does not have any platonic relations with women nor does he shake hands(sudanese salaam). 6. Involves parents from the get go I am impressed I already combined some stuff together. My checklist is: 1. Attractive to me and I to him 2. Masjid prayer and jumuah 3. Alligned vision rooted in pleasing Allah 4. Practical steps towards vision (daily schedule, discipline, consistency, habit building and tracking, education, want to be a husband, son, sibling, relative and father that pleases his creator) 5. Physical stability 6. More emotionally intelligent and mature as well as psychologically mature to be the head of the family 7. Follows halal and haram of his gender (beard shaving, hijab, jumuah, lowering gaze, wearing gold and silk, riba, gambling, substance abuse and addictions, halal food) 8. Mental health awareness, internet addiction awareness (including how he manages both) 9. Parents must also agree to me marrying into the family 10. Daily effort to learn his deen 11. Separate housing 12. Living in the same city as mom This is what I came up with let me know if they need to be audited and need any additions.
0 likes • 9h
@Maariya A I agree with what Habibatul aulia said you observe and gauge by answers to related qns and his behaviour and how he managed his time. Usually someone who does not have a daily schedule will have a lot of free time is also a pointer towards that bcs people who struggle with these addictions find it hard to do so. Having a balanced life is what matters here as well as having taqwa and observing Allah's boundaries and what his knowledge on these topics are and what his views are.
0 likes • 9h
@Habibatul Aulia Jazak Allah khair sis...thats very helful to use 🫶
7d •
Red flag or not?
Would you consider a brother who allows his sisters to travel alone with a non-mahram driver a red flag? It threw me off when I found out about it, even though the family is "religious," but this made me uneasy. His father passed away a long time ago, and the girls are more than the guys, with only 3 brothers, 2 working, one in the city I live in and another in the city her family lives in and one studying who also lives in the same city. I am pretty sure they could've managed a way to ensure their safety. I found out that previously, two of the sisters also travelled alone. It has made me consider what I would expect as a treatment from such a potential because I would not be able to trust him or feel safe knowing this, nor in such situations. Is this supposed to be a hard boundary? It scared me because this is something I would naturally expect, but having heard this, I realise not everyone has this as a basic condition like me, especially considering it is not Islamically allowed for a woman to travel alone.
1 like • 5d
@E H امين يا رب💞
0 likes • 10h
@Kulsum M Yes exactly thank you for the structured answer 💞
6d •
The 7 Signs a Muslimah is Ready for Marriage
You think you’re ready for marriage… but are you really? In Part 2 of this series, we go deeper into the final 4 signs of true readiness.. the ones most women overlook. Because being ready isn’t about age, pressure, or how badly you want it. It’s about preparation.. emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and yes… even practically. In this episode, we cover: ✨ Financial awareness (and why avoiding money talks is a mistake) ✨ Physical health as an amanah (trust from Allah) ✨ Mature decision-making (without fear or pressure) ✨ And the MOST important one.. your intention for marriage Plus, a real story of transformation that will make you rethink everything.
1 like • 6d
My biggest fear is financial topics. Having lived through financial abuse I know no better than to be silent and not ask, refuse when given by someone showing empathy, or ask and be humiliated. I know this will be a problem when I get married and it scares me what marrying someone with the same problem would do to me. I do not see myself asking if I am met with rejection again. How do I heal this and deal with it correctly based on the experience you have? As for physical health I know I need to do better. Alhamdulillah I do recognise that my body is an amanah and I pray Allah guides me towards doing right by it and treating it in a way that pleases him. Mature decision making. This one is coupled with the intention for marriage, at least for me. I know the pressure from certain life situations has ended up tainting both my ability to stand my ground and see clearly as well as my intention for marriage. Many of the things MM said I find within me, a need to prove myself worth to people who do not want to see it or see it and want to bring me down, an alternative escape, thinking it will be a solution, thinking it would provide me with stability. While Allah can decree all this for me, I need to regain my own confidence and self worth first because this is a shaky foundation and will not be in my benefit to walk into marriage, deal with life, raise kids, and also be a good slave of Allah. In total there is a lot for me to work on, because these 2 I just mentioned also affect my emotional and psychological maturity. I had started tackling emotional intelligence last week but I will have to put it on hold as it will require more work. In addition to that I will need to fix my intentions and make sure that it is for the sake of Allah only that I am doing all of this. I already started addressing physical well being alhamdulillah. Another that I can easily do is understand the fiqh of marriage and my responsbilities and how to deal with different situations as per the shari'a of Allah and know my rights and responsbilities, my children's rights and responsbilities as well as my spouse's rights and responsbilities. I will need to also see where I am able to be linient and where I am not, based on the a'raf and my personal liking and capability.
1 like • 5d
@Habibatul Aulia Biidhnillah. I love how all my struggles are becoming filters so far 😂 makes you look at the positive side of them and be grateful alhamdulillah. Jazak Allah khair for your kind words🥹
10d •
Seeking Your Guidance on a Past Marriage Prospect
Salaam everyone, I wanted to share something personal and get some honest advice from sisters who may have gone through something similar. I’m 22 and currently a student. About a year ago, my family and I were speaking to another family for marriage. In the beginning, everything felt really right; our families got along well, conversations were smooth, and there seemed to be strong compatibility in terms of deen, lifestyle, and interests. I spoke to the mother and the son, and both interactions were genuinely good. There was mutual understanding and attraction, and it felt easy to talk to him. But shortly after we started making istikhara, there was a sudden shift. His parents became inconsistent in communication: calls weren’t answered, messages were vague, and overall it created a lot of confusion and anxiety for us. Despite this, the son still expressed interest and even mentioned moving forward with another meeting. During that time, I kept making istikhara, and internally I started feeling uneasy. By around the seventh day, I felt strongly that I shouldn’t go ahead, so I told my parents I didn’t want to continue; even though I really liked him and had hoped it would work out. Now, over a year later, I still find myself thinking about him. I’ve spoken to other potentials since, but I haven’t felt the same level of connection or alignment. It makes me wonder if I made the right decision, or if I let something good go because of fear or mixed signals. At the same time, I also question whether the communication issues from his family were red flags that I shouldn’t ignore. So I wanted to ask: Have any of you experienced something similar? Do you think this is something I should let go of and trust my istikhara, or could it have been a case of wrong timing? Jazakum Allahu khayran in advance for your advice 🤍
1 like • 5d
@Maariya A I meant re reading my own text dont worry not yours I was in my head about how I will offend you. *Sigh* The life of an overthinker.😭 It really is a double edged sword. I am rooting for you you've got thisssss! Ameen and you tooooo🫂.Much much lovee I will be waiting 🫶🥹
1 like • 5d
@Habibatul Aulia Jazak Allah kahir ☺️. Allahuma ameen ya rabb.
5d •
7 signs of being ready for marriage series-1
Alsalaam Aleyikum sisters I hope you're all well. Having watched pt2 of the signs of being ready for marriage yt video I sat almost all day trying to get some things together. I had intended to start with learning nikah fiqh but subhanAllah I ended up doing some research about financial abuse to educate myself on how to gain financial awareness in this situation. Alhamdulillah even though it was very difficult to read through and process everything, I made sure to take notes and write my next practical steps whch include starting with nikah fiqh. In addition to that, I went through my previous therapy notes and compiled them in one place so that inshaAllah they're easier to reference. I will be starting on some of the exercises from now too biidhnillah. I also got in contact with a therapist who I think would be right for my cirumstances and hope Allah eases for me to restart therapy ya rabb. I then renewed my intention alhamdulillah and I hope to always renew it and that it is always for the sake of Allah ya rabb. I documented this and I think I will have a binder to store these and always take notes as I comb through the 7 signs. So far alhamdulillah I have checked off 2 aspects, those being: 1. My faith being an anchor. 2. My intention being for the sake of Allah. (editable) Next up is : Understanding marriage responsbility This will be acheived through : 1. Learning nikah fiqh 2. Knowing mine, husband's, and children's rights and responsbilities 3. Outlining what I can take up extra based on 'urf and capability and boundaries. 4. Reading a book I had planned to read about how to plan out chores and tecniques 5. Implementing what I learn from the book from now 6. Learn the halal and haram of intimate relations 7. Read about femininity in islam 8. Learn about pregnancy and birth control 9. Learn about tarbiya techniques taking based on the prophet pbuh's techniques 10. Additions based on what I learn from these will be taken up later. Followed by:
1 like • 5d
@Habibatul Aulia Allahuma ameen and may Allah grant you all you want ya rabb💞.
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