Asslaam aleyikum, girls. How is everything going? Alhamdulillah, I have been alright, just stressed over how to go about looking for marriage through either those marriage CVs and apps. This is not something from my culture, so it is not acceptable or advisable, as it would be viewed as if you're displaying yourself as per mom's words before. I am still unsure how to bring this up to her, plus I find that these CVs probably do not give a better idea about me based on the details to be filled in. On the positive side, I found one that is completely halal guaranteed, and all communication is through the father, unlike the apps(muzz in particular). On the other hand, Muzz does allow photos, so it is more accurate? I don't know if this makes sense lol. But yeah, if you have any tips and advice, please drop them below. I still do not know how to bring this up to my dad, either, and I do need my dad's approval for the CV one. I think that it will be overwhelming too, but at the same time, I will be putting in effort and allow myself to access like-minded people who may be unreachable/ unavailable where I live.

people say that 'you attract what you fear' it is said that subconsciously we attract wrong people from unhealed trauma. it scares me even more because I feel that i am failing to heal myself and let go of my old self. This gives me anxiety that Allah tests us where our deep desire lies.Our desire can become our greatest test for this life. I afraid may be my deep desire for peaceful marriage becomes my test and get the opposite of that.

Not every sister's journey looks the same. One sister shared, "I stopped comparing my chapter to everyone else's and finally found peace." The pressure around you does not define the plan Allah has for you. What is yours will arrive exactly when it's meant to. What helps you stay at peace with your own timeline? 🤍

I am faced with the dilemma of handshaking in my culture, and it goes against our Islamic beliefs. I know that Islam came to abolish cultures that do not please Allah. I had a lengthy conversation about it with my mother and arrived at an understanding that I cannot judge someone's religiousity based on this alone. I know that to be true because I only found out in 2019 and knew how difficult it was to stop it. I was able to resort to the niqab, and that made me safe in our cultural understanding. It does not excuse the behaviour, of course. My parents also shake hands, and my siblings avoid it, but not when cornerd sometimes. There is also this very disturbing pattern where guys who do not shake hands end up relapsing and shaking hands again later on down the line. May Allah keep us firm on his straight path. I know that with deen, no one can be certain about their own safety and the safety of their chosen partner. How can I consolidate this issue, knowing that handshaking is a very important thing in our culture, be it due to pressure or ignorance? If a guy's akhlaq are good, and this is the only thing making me not want to give him a chance, what should I do about it? I know that this is something between him and his lord, and at the same time know I can change it when I raise my own kids, and maybe he will too with time. I suggested to my mom asking any potential who does if he can stop it, and she advised me against it because that can allow him to use it against me. What should I do about it? I am starting to think that it should be a preference rather than a non-negotiable. I do not know if this is settling or not. At the same time, there is a disturbing majority trend that the same guys who do not shake hands end up being the most corrupt ones regarding lowering their gaze and their behaviour with women and it is only discovered after marriage because they're just strangely good at hiding it from the woman they're interested in. I do know that asking is also part of the vetting process, but I am really confused right now about whether or not I will end up sabotaging a good guy because of this.@Mindful Muslimah

Salam, I missed the free class yesterday I was at work. Can anyone share their notes or give us a small recap please? 😊