I had the blood running in me to tell my parents about a potential spouse I met on an app. We exchanged questions about 3-4 days and I managed to pull him out of the app. In summary I asked what I needed and requested that if we want to know each other more it would be under the roof of my father. I managed to get him out of the chat and he is asking to see my father and me in the next weeks. The man made statements, that seemed trustworthy, indicating he strictly practices, stands in a well raised family and wants to be the provider of me and my kids. I feared the idea of remarriage but said I should give him a shot. I feared my parents reaction whom subhanAllah were open minded to it but there is a fish line stuck in our throats. 1) the man is of a different arab nation than ours. 2) my family fear that my ex ( who is a deadbeat dad that has not sent child support or utilized visitation or called the kids in 2 years and is unfortunately far from Allah) will force them back to him as they say he has all the right not allowing the girls live with a stranger. The man is a pediatrician which allowed my heart to rest. And his willingness to provide for the kids was reassuring as of now. My parents tore me apart having to think that I have to chose between remarrying or my kids.

I was thinking about this narration about an interaction that Umar RA had regarding someone who actually knows the other. It is pasted below for reference: Kharashah ibn al-Hurr reported: A man gave his testimony to Umar ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him. Umar said to him, “I do not know you and it will not harm you that I do not know. Bring someone who knows you.” A man from his people said, “I know him.” Umar said, “What do you know about him?” The man said, “His justice and virtue.” Umar said, “Is he your closest neighbor, such that you know him by his coming and going by day and night?” The man said no. Umar said, “Then, have you had business dealings with him, by which you are shown his piety?” The man said no. Umar said, “Then, have you travelled with him on a journey, by which you are shown his good character?” The man said no. Umar said, “You do not know him.” Umar turned to the witness and said, “Bring me someone who knows you.” Source: al-Sunan al-Kubrá 19769 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani https://www.abuaminaelias.com/dailyhadithonline/2014/01/13/umar-how-do-you-know/ I do not want this to be taken out of context in any way; I think there are some interesting points that can be understood from this. The man he is talking to says he knows someone for "His justice and virtue." Umar RA then questions him about how he claims to know this. Umar RA points out some situations where someone can say they actually know another person: 1. "Is he your closest neighbour?" - A neighbour - Islam places high emphasis on dealing well with our neighbours; not only should their testimony about us be good, but they have seen us on ordinary days, day in and day out and have either felt our presence or absence. 2.Umar RA then asks "Then have you had business dealings with him..." and makes the correlation to piety. - Business dealings - honesty and trustworthiness, but also patience... how is he when dealing with transactions that may not be favourable, etiquette and more