Nice Guy Husbands & Boundaries Issues! · Brojo: Confidence & Integrity

Nice Guy Husbands & Boundaries Issues!

Daily Dose of Integrity

Nice Guys often do not have boundaries or, when they do, they are inconsistent or present in the form of a covert contract.

When boundaries exist as covert contracts, it means that they're kept inside one’s mind and hoped for, but they're not spoken aloud. You might hold someone to account for breaching those boundaries, but not explicitly. You'll just sulk or punish them, give them the cold shoulder when they've done something you don't like, but you don't actually say “I want you to do this, or I don't want you to do that”. Covert contracts are absolute poison for relationships.

Sometimes, the boundaries are just non-existent. The pushover type Nice Guy is just fawning all the time and doing whatever it takes to make his partner happy. He has no internal sense of what's right and wrong. He just adjusts to his partner and her pleasure.

Finally, for Nice Guys the boundaries are often inconsistent. They're based on mood and feeling: what happens today doesn't match what happened yesterday or what happens tomorrow. You just come up with rules as you see fit.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here:

https://youtu.be/lvFGdsoqoMU

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