I have been looking for answers for stuff that felt all wrong on the inside. And that's not all of the story... Things on the outside were pretty creepy too. So either way, inside or outside...Life felt and looked like shit. Pretty bad SHIT. There was guilt, shame at first as if I did something wrong... I could have, but others did stuff too. Afterwards, there was grief and anger at what I went through. The anger and blame turned outside, I acted out often in Alcohol fuelled rage. Which mostly ended up with relationships getting worse, divorce and a feeling of being 'Struck'. I found the more I SEARCHED for a solution, the more it 'evaded' me. Then one WISE Fucking day, I chose to put the load of the world that I was carrying DOWN. And said, at 58 years of age, whatever stuff👆I did wasn't working anyways. So SCREW EVERYONE. I will just BE, no goals other than what comes about and I flow into. Around this time, I read a book by 'Ramana Maharishi' and also by other great yogi's of India. They all shared a common secret thread. That the personality / Ego is the cause of all suffering. More importantly, the personality has no real basis or existence. There is no separate 'Self' that interacts with the world out there. There is ONE Common Consiousness that is present in everyone...and then each of us goes around building a Ego and a Story around that Personality. And this creates a separateness...where we want to get, achieve and all that stuff, for the ego's gratification. Basically, to control the reality out there. Good luck with that :-) So, here's the bottom line from those sages. The consiousness is what is real. The EGO with its thoughts creates persoanlty. And hence becomes separate and is known as the 'SEER'. The one who sees. The seer sees through the 'eyes', sees the SEEN - the object. And then more thoughts and judgements and feelings arise based on whether what is seen is liked / disliked.. Making the mind more entangled and troubled.