Today I want to tackle one of the messiest, most confusing relationship dilemmas people face — and honestly, one of the most common issues my clients bring to me: What does it really mean when you’re attracted to someone else… and does it mean you should leave your partner? Most people assume attraction to someone outside the relationship is a sign that they’re with the wrong person. But the truth is far more complicated. In fact, that assumption alone destroys more relationships than attraction itself ever does. In this week’s video, I dig into the psychology behind why so many people drift toward infidelity, often in tiny micro-steps they barely notice. It rarely starts with a big dramatic betrayal. It starts with little things — porn, daydreaming, seeking validation, flirting with a barista, getting just a bit too close to a coworker. Small “harmless” moments that feel innocent… but would make you blush red with shame if your partner saw them. And that’s the first big problem I tackle:Most people don’t fall into cheating — they slide into it one blurred boundary at a time. We talk about how the “grass is greener” fantasy manipulates your mind during stressful periods. Maybe your partner is tired, moody, overwhelmed, or distant — totally normal human phases — and suddenly someone else seems easier, lighter, more fun. But you’re comparing your partner’s full complexity to someone else’s highlight reel. And your brain loves to pretend that the other person won’t have flaws, moods, baggage, or annoying habits of their own. Another huge factor we dive into is avoidant attachment, and how people with deeper intimacy fears sabotage perfectly good relationships without knowing they’re doing it. When someone avoids closeness, attraction becomes a convenient escape route. It feels like a sign… but it’s often just fear in disguise. We also unpack a major trap:confusing a stale, familiar phase of your relationship with a “bad” relationship.There’s a massive difference between a relationship that’s flat for a moment and one that’s fundamentally unhealthy. Most people don’t know how to tell the difference — and that’s where they start making disastrous decisions.

Some of the guys I work with make such an astonishing transformation that their before and after pictures are two completely different guys. Will is one of these. I won't share his personal secrets, but let's just say his upbringing did him no favours. He started on the back foot, without any good support or role models growing up. Like most introverted Nice Guys, he became the "wallflower" type, flying under the radar to avoid bullying, conflict and disapproval. But he was Will-ing to do something about it. Slowly, piece by piece, he replaced the people-pleasing and self-defeating elements of his life with confidence. He quit the comfortable job he'd slipped into based on connections and competence, and boldly struck out to develop a career that suited his values, experimenting with a vast range of activities to figure out who he really was. He started standing up for himself, particularly with his family, and also took up Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, to overcome his fear of conflict and confrontation. He can now assertively stand his ground with anyone. Will learned how to confidently find, approach and connect with women he's attracted to, eventually creating his first real relationship and an abundant love life with women of quality which he led and initiated, developing a non-needy and naturally calm social energy (best suited for introverts). Will has gone from strength to strength with determination, humility and bravery. He has earned his new life the hard way, and will now be a confident man indefinitely. My hat goes off to Will - he could easily coach others now.

I've been plugging away at youtube for over 10 years, and yesterday we finally crossed the meaningless milestone of 10,000 subscribers. Thank you to everyone who has supported the channel, especially people who shared it with others to help spread the word. I've never been one to go viral or anything, and the youtube algorithm isn't very fond of me, so your support is what keeps the channel alive. I'll keep pumping out the vids, and of course I'm listening to you, so feel free to suggest content ideas or request answers at any time.

Hey everyone, I’ve just released a brand-new feature inside the Brojo Classroom — something many of you voted for — and it’s finally live: The Road Map: Guide for Your Self Development. This roadmap is designed to take all the guesswork out of your personal growth. Instead of wondering “What should I focus on next?” or bouncing between random courses and content, you now have a step-by-step pathway that adapts to wherever you currently are in your life. Think of it like a “choose-your-own-adventure” for your self-development. Here’s what it lets you do: ✔ Identify the right area to focus on first Using an advanced interpretation of Maslow’s hierarchy, the roadmap helps you pinpoint which layer of your life needs attention right now—from basic survival needs all the way up to mission and purpose. ✔ Follow a structured, chronological pathway You’ll be guided chapter-by-chapter through the stages: - Survival - Basic stability - Social and relationships - Confidence, boundaries, philosophy - Higher-level mission and integrity No more skipping ahead to “advanced” topics while struggling with basic foundations. The system keeps your growth in the correct order so you actually progress instead of spinning in circles. ✔ Get curated course recommendations Each chapter contains: - A short video tackling that specific need (The Road Map acts as a course on it's own) - A description of the indicators that you’re in that stage - A list of the best courses for exactly that problem Whether you’re working on money, dating, boundaries, leadership, or mission — you’ll know which course to take next. ✔ Move at your own pace Finish a course, return to the roadmap, choose the next step, and continue leveling up. The whole thing is designed to be simple, linear, and easy to follow without overwhelming you. ✔ Optional personal guidance

Why Promises Aren’t Commitments (And Why That Matters for Your Relationship) Most people throw around words like commitment and loyalty without ever really understanding what they mean. And because of that, their relationships end up built on wobbly foundations—lots of nice-sounding promises, but not much real presence. In this week’s video, I break down one of the most misunderstood parts of relationship success: the difference between promising something and actually committing to it. A promise is future-focused. It’s “I will do this later.”A commitment is present-focused. It’s “I’m doing this right now.” That difference sounds small, but it’s everything. Promises make you feel good. Commitments make your relationship good. The Real Problem: Most Relationships Run on Promises You’ll see this everywhere: - “I’ll always love you.” - “We’ll go on that holiday someday.” - “I’ll change eventually.” People say these things with good intentions, but often they’re avoiding the uncomfortable, real-time work of actually showing up. And the truth is, promises don’t hold you together through the hard seasons. Commitment does. In the video, I share stories from long-term couples (and my own marriage) that illustrate something most people never discover until it’s too late: love naturally goes through peaks and valleys, and commitment is the bridge that gets you over the valleys without panicking and blowing everything up. The Other Big Mistake: Blind Loyalty A lot of people confuse loyalty with commitment, and some stay loyal to things that no longer resemble what they originally signed up for — jobs, marriages, even friendships. Loyalty shouldn’t mean “I’ll stay no matter how bad this gets.”It should mean “I’ll stay as long as the values we built this on still exist.” There’s a huge difference. The video shows you how to tell whether you’re in: - a temporary valley that requires patience and integrityor - a fundamentally unhealthy situation you should walk away from