Day 1 A meaning-maker brain. · ADHD Harmony™

Day 1 A meaning-maker brain.

Insight: "You don't have a task-doer brain. You have a meaning-maker brain."

This highlighted with amazing clarity why I had such a difficult time in a workpartnership many years ago that didn't work. I was with someone who only knew how to do tasks. My approach to my role was to try to find the meaning, which is about finding something that makes the work interesting, and worthwhile. Why bother otherwise?! I never found any confirmation that there was any value in what I had to offer: my vision. Even just identifying the problems, or opportunities. Possibilities. None of that had value, and I took that to mean that I had no value.

30 years later... I understand that maybe I did have value, in that role, but there was no way for me to offer what I had to offer. I moved on, but felt guilty and ashamed and of no value for being 'useless' after that. Now I can revise my opinion of myself. That's going to be powerful, isn't it?!

How about you? How's your opinion of yourself?

I hope it can be a kind one.

I watched a short film about someone with ADHD last night. Only 14 minutes. But enough to make me weep with resonance, anguish, sadness. At the end, there was a hint of hope. It wasn't about being broken, just different. What was most powerful, I decided, was the opinion the main character had of herself.

ok, that got a bit deep. Too deep? Too much?

Open loop? I didn't get what I chose done, last time I did this challenge. I think it was too big. I like the guideline that said choose something that will take no more than 20 minutes. Something doable. I want to show myself that I can complete it. I can close a loop. What shall I choose?

Something I HAVE to do is move several email accounts from a webhost account that is closing in about a week. I have a new webhost account, so I need to find out what to do. And do it. I hope it will take no more than 20 minutes.

After that... a new website, but leave that be, for now!

One word about how I feel right now?

Sad.

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