Reviewing cold email copy
Hey Jay — would really appreciate your eyes on this if you get a moment. I’m running cold outreach for a speed-to-lead & follow-up system sold to service-based businesses (coaches, consultants, professional services). I’m currently testing neutral/curious openers vs diagnostic openers, keeping everything else the same. 👉 My question: From a copy perspective (not structure), does this framing do a good enough job earning replies — or is there any obvious friction / over-explaining you’d trim? EMAIL COPY: Subject:Your leads are waiting 2+ hours, Jessica? Hello Jessica, Most {industry} businesses aren't challenged by lead volume — it’s what happens after a lead comes in that silently impacts revenue. Out of curiosity, how long does it typically take your team at {companyname} to follow up with an inquiry? (For most teams we speak with, it’s 2–6 hours without them realizing it.) If useful, I can put together a short 2-minute Lead Flow Risk Assessment for {companyname} . It's a quick Loom showing where lead momentum typically breaks after an inquiry. Worth me putiing this together for you? @Jay Feldman