I got an interesting email yesterday. After running a live breakthrough coaching session with few hundred coaches in attendance, one of the attendees sent me some rather "direct" feedback. So I want to share the full exchange with you. Because there's a powerful lesson here about running a coaching business. Here's what she wrote: === Hi Ed, Thanx for this - I appreciate it and was curious to see how you do it. I gotta say... you kinda butchered that session. ;) You hit a deep traumatized part - holding a terrible experience - there is no good intent behind it - it's just the darkness that needs to be witnessed and released. Your insistence with that good intent question only triggered another part, a compensatory one or counteractive (perhaps the mask) coming up with "the right answer" - also frozen, spaced out, if you were to look at her face. You might say... as long as it works. It may have the illusion of working in the moment, but that's why clients (also coaches) end up in years of therapy - and that's why therapy is the recommendation for deep trauma. So unless you're well versed in working with trauma it's a bandaid at best and retraumatizing at worst. I've seen this numerous times. Hope you can recognize it and take it well. It takes a lot to do smth like this live - so I can appreciate that. Also if this was spontaneous - you never know what you might run into with volunteers. You're remarkable at sales and presentations though. Hands down. === Pretty spicy, right? 🌶️ Here's how I responded: *** Thanks so much for your message, NAME. I really appreciate you taking the time to send it to me. And so honest... butchered lol Your inner supervisor came in hot with that one! I respect your high standards though. At the same time, it’s always interesting noticing which parts of us are activated in the witnessing too. I get where you’re coming from. When trauma shows up, it needs space, not interpretation. My approach in that moment came from a place of curiosity and care, not trying to fix, but gently explore.

Just a heads up for your coaching journey… Sometimes you will create real, lasting change for a client and they will still forget, criticize, or even turn against you. It’s happened to me more times than I can count. Off the top of my head, I can recall moments where my coaching helped save a marriage, lift someone out of depression, reconnect a family, enable someone to travel the world while working remotely, and even help someone buy their first home. And yet, when tides turn in another area of their life, I’m often the one they blame. Just this week, a client emailed us. They set up the COA system in just three weeks, launched ads for the very first time following our training, generated 70 leads, and booked 3 sales calls. They completed the Expert Coach program but declined the certification because they didn’t want to be associated with our brand, because of “the type of coach I am”. It can tempting to let things like this discourage you. Here's the thing... If you're in this game for thanks, you're in the wrong business. But if you're in it for impact... you're exactly where you need to be. Some people will climb a ladder you built and still find a way to throw stones. Let them. Keep busy building the next one for someone who’s ready to climb. And remember that sometimes the people you help the most will forget you the fastest. That’s human nature. Help anyway.

When you look at what separates a successful coach and one that falls by the wayside… …outside of being able to deliver a great result for your clients (and being able to find them)… The difference that makes the difference is never giving up. That ability to just keep going. “Hey Ed, that’s easy for you to say.” However, there's a reason I sign off all my emails with… No matter what happens, never give up on your dreams …because that's what I've always lived by and I encourage others to do the same. It's not a fancy slogan, something that I picked because it sounds cool (although it kind of does)… I chose it because that's what I've always lived by. I wouldn't be here if I didn't continue to do that every day. When I was first starting out as a coach, it was a tough grind. There will be very few successful coaches, who don't have something similar to say. Coaches who never gave up when others along the way did. If you could take one thing from me, it would be to never give up on your dreams. I've worked with thousands of coaches over the years and so many have had the same problem… They’ve struggled to make a success of their coaching business. The reasons they've struggled are all different. Some coaches fall victim to themselves, where they're wanting too much too quickly. Other coaches struggle because they don't understand their business metrics and their numbers. And then there are those coaches that just hit a few tough breaks along the way. While each coach has different circumstances, when I've looked at them and their situations, I tend to come back to one core point. While there are many skills that a coach needs in order to have a successful business, I consider never giving up, that willingness to keep on going, more important than any other skills you may have. Some coaches are naturally more resilient, but I truly believe that resilience is a skill, and something that any coach can build within themselves. No matter what is happening, never give up.

A client said this to me recently and I felt the weight behind their words. It really hit home because I’ve been there too. That feeling of something’s missing, even when everything on the outside looks fine. The search for happiness can feel never-ending, especially when we’re looking for it in all the usual places… Success… Money… Relationships… Recognition… But what I’ve learned, both from my own experience and from the people I work with, is this: Happiness isn’t out there. Happiness is within. And it’s something we can learn to create for ourselves. Our minds are constantly translating the world around us, turning experiences into either peace or pain. And we can influence that translation. Not overnight. Not with a magic switch. But with practice. It starts with working on the inner stuff… Mindset… Beliefs… Patterns... And slowly, things will start to change. The sadness doesn’t vanish. Life doesn’t suddenly become perfect. But you start to feel more in control, not of the world, but of oneself. And that changes everything. You don’t get “cured.” But you’re lighter. You’re stronger. And you’re happier. I’m sharing this because maybe someone reading this needs to hear that it’s possible. That happiness isn’t something you have to chase forever. It’s something you can build, from the inside out. And that no matter how things feel right now, change is possible. I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it. And I help others do it, too.

Over the past 4 years, a huge part of my life has been looking after Bambi. She's one of my two chihuahuas, Bambi and Belle :-) Bambi is my first dog. I will never forget the journey we have been on together. And maybe there’s a part of me that thought I would have a child. But that didn’t happen. So a dog is what I have. And she has been the perfect dog for me. But she has suffered with epilepsy and seizures for years. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster. Last week… She had a small seizure, which isn't unusual for her. But then she started struggling to breathe. She'd eaten as normal. Dinner in the evening. Breakfast in the morning. But her breathing was getting worse by the hour. So I rushed her to our local vet. His face said it all. "Dude, she's got like half an hour maximum.” My heart stopped. He explained he only had basic breathing equipment. No portable oxygen. No scanning gear. Nothing that could save her. The only place that could help was 30 minutes away. 30 minutes she didn't have. So I drove there in 10. They were ready for us. Whisked her straight into an oxygen tank. By Thursday, they had four possible diagnoses: Lung worm. Cancer. Blood clot. Pneumonia. I was broken. Mentally preparing to dig a grave on Friday. Then out of nowhere the vet called and said: “She’s getting a little better, but we need to put her under anesthetic for an operation.” She still had only 1 in 5 chance of survival. And even then… She would need mechanical breathing which would cost £10,000. Ouch, I thought… But breathing sounds like good value to me. If she died during anesthetic, at least I'd know I'd done everything possible. So we went for it… . . . . . . . . And she made it through. Even better… She didn't need the mechanical breathing (saving me 10 grand, thank you very much Bambi ). Next thing we know… Suddenly she’s having this radical remission where she's getting better and better and better! They targeted what they believed was lung worm with specific medication.