Emotional Cheating: The Warning Signs (Before Anything Physical Happens)

Today I want to tackle one of the messiest, most confusing relationship dilemmas people face — and honestly, one of the most common issues my clients bring to me:

What does it really mean when you’re attracted to someone else… and does it mean you should leave your partner?

Most people assume attraction to someone outside the relationship is a sign that they’re with the wrong person. But the truth is far more complicated. In fact, that assumption alone destroys more relationships than attraction itself ever does.

In this week’s video, I dig into the psychology behind why so many people drift toward infidelity, often in tiny micro-steps they barely notice. It rarely starts with a big dramatic betrayal. It starts with little things — porn, daydreaming, seeking validation, flirting with a barista, getting just a bit too close to a coworker. Small “harmless” moments that feel innocent… but would make you blush red with shame if your partner saw them.

And that’s the first big problem I tackle:Most people don’t fall into cheating — they slide into it one blurred boundary at a time.

We talk about how the “grass is greener” fantasy manipulates your mind during stressful periods. Maybe your partner is tired, moody, overwhelmed, or distant — totally normal human phases — and suddenly someone else seems easier, lighter, more fun. But you’re comparing your partner’s full complexity to someone else’s highlight reel. And your brain loves to pretend that the other person won’t have flaws, moods, baggage, or annoying habits of their own.

Another huge factor we dive into is avoidant attachment, and how people with deeper intimacy fears sabotage perfectly good relationships without knowing they’re doing it. When someone avoids closeness, attraction becomes a convenient escape route. It feels like a sign… but it’s often just fear in disguise.

We also unpack a major trap:confusing a stale, familiar phase of your relationship with a “bad” relationship.There’s a massive difference between a relationship that’s flat for a moment and one that’s fundamentally unhealthy. Most people don’t know how to tell the difference — and that’s where they start making disastrous decisions.

Finally, I talk about the biggest relationship killer of all: dishonesty at the beginning.When people only show their best selves early on—hiding their quirks, polishing their behavior, masking their real preferences—they set each other up for disappointment. The “drop-off” a few months in isn’t the relationship deteriorating; it’s the acting ending.

This video breaks down all of these patterns so you can understand: