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Difficult share for me
Afternoon all and thanks for listening. I'm having a difficult time at the moment, and it's down to guilt. My wife and I have been together for 19 years, married for 9. Before I go any further, I haven't cheated on her or anything like that. My wife has always had some social anxiety as long as I have known her, but she was able to have a active social life by convincing herself to get over it. However like many people during lockdown she had a lot of time on her own as I was still working and we weren't allowed to go out. It was during this time she started to realise that it wasn't just social anxiety, it was something more. After three years of waiting and lots of crying she finally got some help, it turns out she has ADHD and autism, actually it's called AUDHD. If you know anything about this subject you'll know that once someone has unmasked and realised that their are reasons to why she feels the way she does, it impossible for some to pretend that they don't have issues and to be honest why should they pretend to be someone they aren't. I've given a very oversimplified version of what has happened to her. As a result of my wife's realisation of her problems she stopped going out or at least didn't take it up again after lockdown. My wife's so called friends didn't much care for the fact that she no longer wanted to be going out and getting drunk with them, so they all stopped talking to her, their was a group of six of them that were all meant to be close, but they just dumped her. This obviously devastated her and she still cries about it many years on. I am still friends with many of the girls partners, but I can't talk to them about the situation because they are obviously to close to it. I did try to patch things up with my wife and the girls, but it didn't work and to be honest they don't deserve my wife as a friend if they are so willing to dump her the way they did. The fact that I still see the lads is one reason I feel guilty but not the only one.
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Retired and lost
Morning gents, here's an issue im kinda struggling with and wondering if any of you guys have experienced anything similar. In 2024 I retired from the Police service after 20+ years service. In 2023 I had been diagnosed and treated for prostate cancer and my mindset was it was time to get out and enjoy some life with my wife and family. The maths all worked out so I made the desicion to retire from the service at 56 years old. At first the novelty was great, I joined the everyman project, lost a load of weight, increased my fitness levels and generally felt much better than I had in years. I left the project just before Christmas ( it was just a financial drain after 8 months ) and if im honest i'd kinda got used to having the group around, the zoom calls, the accountability with the coaches and the general craic from being part of the group. Problem is is that now I'm kinda isolated, wife's at work all day and my family is 150 miles away. I have plenty of hobbies, photography, motorcycling etc.. but im feeling a bit lost and im starting to lock myself away in the house, not going out . I can go a week or more without speaking to a soul during the day, I know its winter and the weather in Wales where I live can be restrictive but its more than that, its almost a confidence thing where I struggle to get out on my own. It's really starting to affect my mindset, my training suffers and im generally starting to feel flat and unmotivated. Im determined to find some kind of solution before I tip over the edge into self pity and depression which is all to easy to do. Sorry for the ramble, I'd appreciate everyone's thoughts and tactics to tackle this is you've experienced anything similar Cheers Steve
Let the fog fuck off
Who’s been out for a walk this week? Who’s taking steps to clear the fog? Who’s stuck and doesn’t know which foot to lead with?
Burnout
Let’s talk about burnout. We all know that grind—working the day job, then trying to build that extension on the house, hustling every spare minute for the family. I’ve been there, and I get it. But here’s the deal: you can’t run at 100% nonstop without hitting a wall—physically or mentally. So this is your reminder: set those boundaries. The world won’t end if you don’t answer that email tonight. Your family needs the real you, not the version of you that’s hanging by a thread. Be proud of how hard you work, but be even prouder that you know when to say, ‘That’s enough for today.’ Your kids will remember that you were there, not that you answered every work call. So set those boundaries and protect your time. More to come on this, but for now, take a breath and remember: you matter more than any job.
Lurkers
If you are lurking in the background taking in the information and not really saying much, just remember…..we all have issues and you will be surprised at what the people in this group have been through. If you want to talk but not sure how….drop me a message, I haven’t got all my shit together and I’m definitely not perfect but I’m a good listener.
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