This is it, my next step into the depths of vulnerability. @Tebin Ari asked: what does it truly mean to love yourself? (https://www.skool.com/spiritual-rebels/what-does-it-truly-mean-to-love-yourself). I felt struck by a knowing that this is how I level up. You know the feeling of knowing you have to throw up? Well, this is coming out of me and I have no control over it at all. It’s like it has come to life of its own. Compared to vomiting, which usually is an unpleasant experience, this is a feeling of an orgasmic soul-expression which can’t be held back and I just do my best to lean back and enjoy surfing these waves. I started to think of an answer, my answer, and I quickly come to realize that words don’t do love justice. The word love is, just like other words, a construct we have created to be able to communicate with each other and also for the internal mind narrative to make sense of things. I really struggle with using words to express something eternal, which I think most of you can relate to. I believe this is the root to why I marvel and admire music. The ability to put certain words in a specific order to mediate a feeling suspended by specific frequency vibrations. It is truly beautiful how we are able to do this in an infinite of ways. Each with its own personal touch. This is also why I like watching @I Am Rey 's videos. Imagine that he would, for a whole video, only use the word love to express everything he has to say. This is what I hear, is like he is standing there, writing symbols on his whiteboard and over and over again saying the word love with different tonality; love, love, love, love, love. Oh, the frustration! How do I express myself?! I want to do it so badly and at the same time it feels totally overwhelming. Getting stuck over and over, redoing and editing. The initial boosting feeling of motivation declines and is replaced by distractions and monkey desires. It feels like this is the hardest thing to do. Will I be misunderstood? Are my words conveying anything of value at all? Well, this does not matter. The goal is to be creative and express in the moment with no thought at all of how it will be received. The work is already in the making, as I write these words pondering these questions. What is the meaning of it all? Should I just delete this text and do something else. No, I am doing this for me, and everyone else. Inspiring to express things that have been repressed by showing how I do it, in real time. The expression process is in the making.

The Outer Limits https://vimeo.com/886540895

The Golden Fish https://vimeo.com/1148304224/534211b0e3