This is it, my next step into the depths of vulnerability. @Tebin Ari asked: what does it truly mean to love yourself? (https://www.skool.com/spiritual-rebels/what-does-it-truly-mean-to-love-yourself). I felt struck by a knowing that this is how I level up. You know the feeling of knowing you have to throw up? Well, this is coming out of me and I have no control over it at all. It’s like it has come to life of its own. Compared to vomiting, which usually is an unpleasant experience, this is a feeling of an orgasmic soul-expression which can’t be held back and I just do my best to lean back and enjoy surfing these waves. I started to think of an answer, my answer, and I quickly come to realize that words don’t do love justice. The word love is, just like other words, a construct we have created to be able to communicate with each other and also for the internal mind narrative to make sense of things. I really struggle with using words to express something eternal, which I think most of you can relate to. I believe this is the root to why I marvel and admire music. The ability to put certain words in a specific order to mediate a feeling suspended by specific frequency vibrations. It is truly beautiful how we are able to do this in an infinite of ways. Each with its own personal touch. This is also why I like watching @I Am Rey 's videos. Imagine that he would, for a whole video, only use the word love to express everything he has to say. This is what I hear, is like he is standing there, writing symbols on his whiteboard and over and over again saying the word love with different tonality; love, love, love, love, love. Oh, the frustration! How do I express myself?! I want to do it so badly and at the same time it feels totally overwhelming. Getting stuck over and over, redoing and editing. The initial boosting feeling of motivation declines and is replaced by distractions and monkey desires. It feels like this is the hardest thing to do. Will I be misunderstood? Are my words conveying anything of value at all? Well, this does not matter. The goal is to be creative and express in the moment with no thought at all of how it will be received. The work is already in the making, as I write these words pondering these questions. What is the meaning of it all? Should I just delete this text and do something else. No, I am doing this for me, and everyone else. Inspiring to express things that have been repressed by showing how I do it, in real time. The expression process is in the making.

There were yogis who could materialize aromas or fruits. I wanted to try it on my own. Some fun, i am not crazy :))). We are having a magic time.

Hello everyone, how are you today? Where I live, this is the darkest and shortest day of the year, which means, from this day forward the days will again become longer and brighter. On this latitude, where we get almost no direct sunlight at this time of year, I want to contribute with a post, shining light from within in the absence. For me, this day symbolizes the pinnacle of contraction, and, this is as "bad" as it gets. Being here, at the worst, realizing that nothing is actually wrong gives me a new baseline and I intentionally use this as a point of departure, another way to remember and accepting who I am, at my worst. I want to be aware of who I am when I'm not at my best, I want to give love to this version of me, and it is at this stage, by the amount, that I can gauge and choose who I am. I choose Love, in the absence of light. Compassion, the feeling of relating to oneother's struggles with emotional reaction is a powerful experience. And at this point in my life, I am drowning in this feeling, really getting used to it. I enjoy how the feeling overwhelms me to the point of pure awe. I feel myself getting stronger by welcoming with no resistance how this feeling wash over my being. Tears in abundance, leaving a glimmering trace as these diamonds runs down over my cheeks telling a story of a soul that once more remember how to feel strong in my being. I don't care if somebody notice me, they will recognize what they witness, rare and beautiful, with no judgement. Here I sit with my thoughts of how all things are not as they should be, not trying to fix it. Joy joins the party, telling me that things can be done, by being vulnerable and open. A redemptive expression comes to life of its own. Something more than a faint hope, a knowing, that everything will come to be as long as I continue to allow myself to let go and be who I am, more and even more, every day. Peace, is that you? I think so, it feels like that. I've missed you, even for a second, and you are more than welcome back. I remember how you found me at my worst, you have always been there for me, even when I don't recognize you. Even when I've not been at my best you have always patiently waited for me to once more remember. How could I ever, ever, ever reciprocate what you do for me? You inspire me to my core, I can feel it. This time, I won't forget, the feeling is too strong to not make a permanent imprint. This time I will prioritize you more than ever before, my best friend and companion. My love, my being my everything. I forgive that I forget sometimes, and I know that you understand.

Super duper cringey My handwriting is better, this is my silly handwriting

Hi, currently in my life I’ve been focusing on my looks and health it’s kinda weird because I been seeing progresss but when I stop doing that for 1/2 days I start noticing regression and that frustrates me…so idk if I should just let go or keep going 👁️