@Nama Azubiah yes, I would say that’s a good description of it. That’s not so much the case now… as in.. I don’t care anymore. But the nervous system heals slowly. And I’m on the path of unlearning a lot of ingrained things that manifest physically when I stretch against these boundaries. But I quite confident in what I’m doing. That’s been part of the hidden me - I am very agreeable outwardly. But I have a strong sense of inner direction and always have. Of course that had to be suppressed (religion, female, etc) and now I am reclaiming that. It’s not easy but I know I’m doing the right things. It’s an inner knowing. No one can take it.

@Nama Azubiah I love this image. Thank you. I am deeply grateful and happy, too. ❤️

Hello, I’ve felt this way. This is a short practical suggestion, go waaay back to when your were little and try to remember what you liked to do that you gave up or set down along the way. It might be something small. I will tell you mine - dollhouses. Yup. Dollhouses. I am a therapist and I just started buying all these old vintage tin dollhouses and setting up my collection like I did as a kid. It wasn’t materialism (altho my brain told me that when I was doing it). This opened a door to a part of me I had closed off in my psyche. I ended up gifting some of the houses as opportunities came up. And I now use them with my students and clients. I won’t go into all the details, but what I found was, you can go back in your mind to find the things your simple (not concerned with survival) identity- yes, this is also not “you,” but it’s a part of you and you can enter into it to help reveal your heartsong- the things that speak to YOU and recharge your battery - fill you up. Once your battery is charging the world begins to look different. The lack of desire for life I felt led me to realize that I needed to study this false self. It will give you clues. Ramana Maharshi said, “there is no investigation into the Atman, only the false self.” False doesn’t mean unimportant. I learned lots of things about who I am by studying my “false” self and who I am not (who I was unintentionally pretending to be for the world). ❤️