Once heard that God is everything and has all evil "in his hands", everything is the same matter, the stardust. Another time heard that material world is not God, just devil/concioussness/ evil. Sincerly, i am not very into these philosophical reflections, because for me God is a present moment in which all unfolds and if i sneeze or die in some minutes from a gun, it is all God unfolding through dust in my nose or through devil on God's conditions. However these points of view are strongly distant to each other. How come? How do you see it?

How can you co-exist with the realization of your ego and a higher spiritual plane without feeling like you are submitting to illusion? What I mean by this is the idea that ego is just a culmination of ever changing patterns and beliefs that are often skewed by bias and pride/false pride so on and so fourth… The higher spiritual plane helps to relieve me of the “human” experience… relief from suffering. I am not the body or the mind and I don’t have opinions…. sort of thing. My idea was that maybe I could just consciously know I am participating in a egoic or subjective frame as a choice to be able to function and be within the task identity related until the activity is over, then go back to beingness (higher plane). It’s feels very uncomfortable for me to imagine myself try to find some balance and like consent or be cool with being in an “idea” much of the time. I wonder if anyone has identified a peaceful but practical method to be hyper aware and also not totally disconnected from the human, value position. This all feels like inception but I just try to express myself the best I can, I hope this make sense.