Are you trying to MOTIVATE your kids to do something YOU think is best for them? I'm curious, what does that usually look like? I am sure you have heard the phrase, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink." What I find goes wrong for most adults is that they get stuck in a mindset that makes them feel like it is their job to MAKE the horse drink. Fundamentally, what you end up doing is creating a resistance that wasn't previously there. The more you push, the more the horse says...I am not drinking that water! Try this instead! Change your perspective. You do not need to MAKE the horse drink, you need to REMIND the horse that they are thirsty. Now, you can't remind someone of something they haven't previously thought of, so this is why I find it so important to begin any journey by targeting IDENTITY. If your child is strong in their IDENTITY and you are presented with a scenario that requires them to make a tough decision or do something they may not want to do at the moment, all you have to do is REMIND them of WHO they are. When you operate this way, you eliminate motivation from the equation and you replace it with discipline. The child now, in order to stay in alignment with their chosen identity, is no longer able to resist the water. They will be forced (by their own commitment and identity) to drink the water, whether they were in the mood for water or not. The best part of this scenario is that you can stop trying to force them, changing your role from controller of their journey and police officer of their actions to loving supporter, teammate and confidant. Way too often I see parents get stuck pushing too hard and not recognizing that the action of forcing creates more resistance. If you have had an experience like this, share it with us below and let's talk through what a better process could look like next time you are faced with a horse that doesn't want to drink from the well.

Your kid has a bad day out there and nothing seems to go their way. How do share with them your thoughts about their performance…? And…how does that usually go?

Today I got to witness my son shine and feel is pain. He finished in 3rd place for the team national championship trials, but qualified for the single Championship in July 26'. I saw his smile and his tears all in a few moments and the car ride, was filled with emotions from all, but I am enjoying this journey with him and his mom and I are there for every emotion he's willing to share.

I’m curious, when you travel to and from games on the weekend, what questions do you ask in order to prepare for or reflect on performance?? Also…how does that usually go?

What aspect of your youth sports journey would you use it on and why?