I can remember a conversation I had with somebody about 4 years ago. This conversation in particular was so memorizing for me because it made me mad. And as we all know, strong emotions make you remember things way better and detailed. Why did I get mad? Because I knew exactly, that the other person used a cheap excuse to get out of the conversation. She said "Well it was nice meeting you, I have to go right now because I have to eat something". Well, maybe it was not really a cheap excuse. Maybe, she really was hungry and wanted to eat something. What made me mad was not the fact, that she (maybe) used an excuse to get out of the conversation. What made me mad is the fact, that she made it look like she had no chioce, and therefore it was not her fault that our conversation was apruptly stopped and it was not her fault, that she left me hanging right in the middle of the conversation. "I HAVE TO go right now because I HAVE TO eat something" In that moment I thought to myself: "You know damn well, that you don't HAVE TO, but you just WANT TO. There's no law, or no rule, or no god, telling you that you have to. Take the fucking responsibility that is yours and own your faults" (like I said, I was mad). And to this day, I think my thoughts weren't wrong. If you say "I have to", when in reality you just "want to" that's being dishonest to yourself (I thought about using the word "lying" instead of "being dishonest to yourself", but most of the time, lying is more intentional and people don't intentionally say "I have to" instead of "I want to"). Being honest to yourself is "I want to go, because I want to eat something" If she had said that, I probably wouldn't have been so mad. If somebody said something like that to me today, I'd even say "well that's said but thank you for your honesty". (Most of the time, people intuitively know anyways when something is just a cheap excuse and when somebody is telling the truth) What I like about using "I want to" instead of "I have to", is:

What sounds like a harsh and placative title is sadly true. You have only one life, you will not get a second chance! How many mistakes have you made? How many things do you wish you hadn't said or done? How many times have you looked at yourself and your actions and were unimpressed or even ashamed? Are your goals still on track? Have you achieved what you wanted? Are you completely on the wrong path and how can you make up for every stupid decision and mistake you've ever made and become the best versionof yourself? We only have one life, one single short and mostly meaningless life in the big picture that is time. Chances are that most of what we'll experience, work towards and eventually achieve will ever truly matter for the world around us. In a hundred maybe two-hundred years we will be forgotten and can count ourselves lucky if at least our ancestors remember us every blue moon. Our life that has such a huge meaning to ourselves will have absolutely no meaning to 99.9% of people on this planet. But you know what? That is the beauty of it. Our lifes are so short, so meaningless for most that we can basically fo whatever we want. If no one remembers who you were in 200 years, whats stopping you from just doing things for the sake of doing them. Dont get me wrong, I have so many goals in life and I want to achieve them all, having something to work towards is important because it can give yourself a dense of purpose in life. But despite that, we should never ever forget how short and how special life is. Try to cherish every moment as much as possible, do stuff because you wamt to and not because anyone had told you to do so. Have you had a bad day? Fuck it, move on Have you not achieved what you wanted? Sucks, take time, reflect and then move on! Noone likes you? Well that's a shame, do things on your own then, because at least you're liked by yourself. I might lack the words or the writing-skills to make this point come across the right way, but I know you guys will get what I want to say.

There have been many different things lingering on my mind recently. I believe they are inteconnected and I want to talk about them. Let's start with 1. Nostalgia A word and a feeling that has accompanied me for amazingly long, but especially since this journey for meaning started. Derived from the greek words for "homecoming" (nóstos) and "pain" (àlgos) it originally described a medical condition prominent in Swiss mercenaries fighting away from home. However in modern use the word has transcended it's original definition in many ways, defined more generally as a sentimental longing for the past, a specific period of time, memory or place associated with happy memories. This is what I mean when I say I'm having nostalgic thoughts. 2. Comparison is the Thief of Joy. That is a saying I've heard at some point in my life that has stuck with me. Every now and again I come to think of it. Especially in moments I might need it. I have a tendency to compare myself to everybody else. People on Social Media, people in my bubble, people in uni etc. That might be an isolated problem and perhaps would make for an interesting post in itself, but it is not what I want to discuss here. I feel one thing I often compare myself with is my own past. The way I lived, the things I did, the people I knew and the way I treated these relationships. There's things I miss, that I used to have and now I don't. People, places, activities but most of all the feeling I get when thinking about it. I know it sounds corny but it feels like a warm evening at the end of summer with the sun slowly setting and the bright colors of sunset lingering after it did. It feels like the last day of a vacation, talking to all the people you met, for one last time, knowing fully well that you will never talk again. And it feels like the last time the friend group hung out as if it were forever, without anyone knowing that this is where the common path ends and you'll only be seeing one or the other every now and again. If I think of these moments (those were descirptions yes, but actual moments from my life too) and try to compare them to my daily life today, there is no comparison to be made. These memories, good as they are, make today seem grey.

Today, I want to talk about just one tool, everybody can use in their day-to-day life, that makes it easier to commit to something: The principle of burning a ship. First: what is "burning a ship"? ---------Historical context:---------- In the 16th century, the Aztech empire (todays Mexico) was conquered by the spanish under the lead of Hernán Cortés. Despite the incredible disadvantage in manpower, Hernán and his crew managed to conquer the Aztechs. Many factors played a role in conquering the empire such as never seen illnesses for the Aztechs and a weapon advantage of the spanish. But the one particular aspect I want to focus on is the following: Before going on land, Hernán BURNT ALL THE SHIPS he and his crew came with to America. What he did there is, he forced himself and his crew to succeed, by denying an option to retreat. "Either this or nothing" So naturally, the commitment of him and his crew was over the top, because there was no going back. ----------------------- So "burning a ship" just means: ---> Not giving yourself the option to retreat. (Or at least having a hard punishment if you do) This is such a strong tool. If you don't have an option to retreat, HOW HIGHT WOULD THE CHANCE BE FOR YOU TO DO THE THING, IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER OPTION, OTHER THAN DOING IT? pretty high, right? ---------------------When to burn a ship?------------------ It's a strong tool and it's use can be seen best, when you really just aren't able to use any tools, tricks or willpower to do the thing. Obviously you can use it in other scenarios as well. -------------- How to burn a ship?--------------------- --> Think of every possible way to force you to do something. Here are some examples: - GIVE YOURSELF A BIG PUNISHMENT IF YOU DON'T DO THE THING: Give a person, that really loves you 50Fr. and tell them, they only should give the 50Fr. back to you, if you finish xyz until abc. The trick is, that the other person has to love you (or at least really mean well to you) and really only give the 50Fr. back, when you actually do it. A person, who doesn't care for you as much will just give you the 50Fr. back anyways. - HAVE A WORD OF IRON: Yup, once again I use this technique. If you have a word of Iron and everything you say, you will actually do, just simply by saying a thing, you burnt a ship. And for a person, who doesn't have a word of iron: Make a promise. - (if possible) DON'T ALLOW YOURSELF AN OPTION TO RETREAT: For example, if you have to go to the doctor, make a call and an appointment. That way you're not really able to retreat. (You can basically retreat from anything with a big punishment, but that would go into the "give yourself a big punishment" category. But I still think, that there are scenarios, that you just simply are not able to skip or retreat from.)

Doing it last minute isn't really how I imagined writing my post this week. I had many opportunities and loads of ideas to share. It's not that I didn't want to do it (overall, hence I'm doing it now) but I always found a working excuse for myself. Day to day until the deadline is 5 minutes away. I'm ashamed to type these few uninspired words 4 minutes before the call starts but I've made my bed and I must lie in it now. Doing things last minute was a problem of mine ever since highschool. When you learn that even if you don't give a fuck and without effort everything works out fine somehow, in the end, it does something to your discipline. It is one of my greatest struggles and something I want to change the most about myself. But I'm just that good at finding excuses for myself. A tragedy.