Superficial Society and Expectations · Muslim Marriage Accelerator

Superficial Society and Expectations

Assalamu'alaikum,

How do sisters navigate the search for marriage in a society that often feels focused on outward appearance?

Context - I have been trying to find a spouse via an app which I downloaded a month ago. I am new to the process, but I’ve found it difficult because I wear full hijab and don’t wear makeup at all due to religion, and most women on the apps which I'm using do. As a result it has been quite discouraging, not necessarily the feeling of rejection but the realisation of how superficial society has become.

My profile is well-written and has attracted many potentials. In 1 month, I have had ~30 requests, which is about 1 a day. A significant number are even willing to speak with my father as my wali from the very beginning, which I find very promising.

Men are generally comfortable talking, but when it comes to exchanging pictures, they often become hesitant when my image lacks makeup, the trendy "Instagram" aesthetic, or a modern hijabi style, which then leads them to state that I am not their type and we should no longer continue.

I will never change myself or compromise my Islamic values for the sake of these expectations. Many sisters I know have told me that it truly is a test of today's time.

I have now decided to transition away from the app and start focusing on in-person searching. By doing so, I am hoping they will see me for who I truly am from the very beginning. This way, they’ll get to know the real me, and ultimately, the impression won’t be based solely on a picture.

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Superficial Society and Expectations