Don't really know if this is suitable place to be asking this but didn't know where else to ask. When the anger about little things I do get directed towards me, I feel really hurt and become silent (a really bad emotional response I've developed from young when people direct anger towards me because I grew up thinking silence meant safety) which makes it really hard for me to be present with my partner in those moments and in moments when she's going through a really tough time, it can lead her to think I don't care about her. Just wondering if anyone had any advice for me on how to break free of this emotional response or suggestions in habits that I can implement to build stronger mental fortitude to be able to brush aside the anger directed at me and help me focus on her in those moments

Hey guys it’s been awhile since I’ve been on here and I’ve just been really struggling with keeping up consistency in general and in my relationship. I’m scared that because i haven’t been consistent in my word and promises I might lose everything please I need help and I don’t know where else to turn to..

Situation: Arrive home from work feeling unwell and passive aggressive towards my wife. Shame: from underperforming as a husband, father and son. Guilt: not communicating and spread love with my family Fear: Am I gonna change? Be a better husband. Joy: Wife approached to me to talk and repair before go to bed, we had the conversation about it, the repair made our love tank full. Lonely: felt like life is so busy that we don’t have time to each other. Hurt: to be passive aggressive Sad: Skip gym Anger: my passive aggressive towards the family, and wrong expectations towards them. The emotion wheel was done during a coffee date.

Anger - that we continue to have the cyclical fight Shame- that I forgot to fully clean the kitchen tonight Guilt- that I need to sit in the other room while my wife cleans the kitchen as she doesn’t want me in her space. Sad- that my wife feels Like I don’t care about her when I do things like this. Fear - that I keep hitting this cycle Hurt- that my wife thinks of me as a child Lonely- sitting in the other room while she does the job I was supposed to do Joy- the family had a fun day looking at cars.

Anger: I feel angry that I did not get the job I interviewed for Shame: I feel shame for being more senior than other co-workers and being in a lower position Guilt: I feel guilty for not taking on more from my fiancée in the wedding planning process Fear: I fear that my fiancée with eventually be done with me because I keep making similar mistakes Lonely: I feel lonely because I am not feeling emotionally or physically connected with my fiancée. Sad: I feel sad because it feels as though I am trying my best to make her feel heard and it often doesn’t work Hurt: my pride is hurt when my fiancée compares me to her friends that always make her feel heard Joy: I felt joy competing in a Murph workout this morning.